Ever since I was a girl, I have written about one to five pages every day - on napkins, on scrap pap...
ROSEANNE BARR As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then he...
ROSEANNE BARR Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can be...
ROSEANNE BARR The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
ROSEANNE BARR Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, ga...
ROSEANNE BARR I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women w...
ROSEANNE BARR The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
ROSEANNE BARR Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, lik...
ROSEANNE BARR My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater e...
ROSEANNE BARR Both the Democratic and Republican parties are bought and paid for by corporate America and cater to...
ROSEANNE BARR Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are...
ROSEANNE BARR A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. An...
ROSEANNE BARR Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are...
ROSEANNE BARR It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.
ROSEANNE BARR Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
ROSEANNE BARR I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
ROSEANNE BARR Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I c...
ROSEANNE BARR The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and sc...
ROSEANNE BARR The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
ROSEANNE BARR I know how to do anything - I'm a mom.
ROSEANNE BARR I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic God...
ROSEANNE BARR I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time t...
ROSEANNE BARR Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month I can b...
ROSEANNE BARR In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say, "Sorry, we're open."
ROSEANNE BARR Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feelin...
ROSEANNE BARR Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a Cali...
ROSEANNE BARR I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to t...
ROSEANNE BARR You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from try...
ROSEANNE BARR I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer...
ROSEANNE BARR TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with...
ROSEANNE BARR My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
ROSEANNE BARR I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird?
ROSEANNE BARR I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're s...
ROSEANNE BARR I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish.
ROSEANNE BARR I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people la...
ROSEANNE BARR I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I ...
ROSEANNE BARR There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell a lot more to being a m...
ROSEANNE BARR Know how to do anything - I’m a mom
ROSEANNE BARR As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then he...
ROSEANNE BARR ACORN is organizing to make sure the job of rebuilding New Orleans is done by the people of New Orle...
ROSEANNE BARR Excuse the mess but we live here.
ROSEANNE BARR They're all mine. . . . Of course, I'd trade any one of them for a dishwasher.
ROSEANNE BARR A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. An...
ROSEANNE BARR I call myself a 'domestic goddess
ROSEANNE BARR Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling fe...
ROSEANNE BARR My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pant...
ROSEANNE BARR I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on
ROSEANNE BARR I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
ROSEANNE BARR Excuse the mess, but we live here.
ROSEANNE BARR I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
ROSEANNE BARR I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all wo...
ROSEANNE BARR I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people...that's why I don't like any of them.
ROSEANNE BARR I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
ROSEANNE BARR There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell a lot more to being a mo...
ROSEANNE BARR The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
ROSEANNE BARR I was completely nuts for most of my life.
ROSEANNE BARR I am so sad. She was a great person and a genius to work with. We will all miss her.
ROSEANNE BARR As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then he...
ROSEANNE BARR The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.
ROSEANNE BARR You kind of restructure your whole personality to be in a healthy relationship.
ROSEANNE BARR I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
ROSEANNE BARR I say I'm the only serious comedian in the presidential race. And I'd like to take this oppo...
ROSEANNE BARR Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos...
ROSEANNE BARR I actually regard Facebook as a huge bore, but I cannot refrain from participating in it. I guess I ...
ROSEANNE BARR Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the ...
ROSEANNE BARR Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a...
ROSEANNE BARR I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.
ROSEANNE BARR Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself...
ROSEANNE BARR Facts and data, rather than opinion, are the two cornerstones of problem solving, and yet they are c...
ROSEANNE BARR The real truth is, I just want to keep the voice of dissent alive in all of our elections. I don'...
ROSEANNE BARR You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for se...
ROSEANNE BARR I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, ...
ROSEANNE BARR Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
ROSEANNE BARR I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.
ROSEANNE BARR When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian hi...
ROSEANNE BARR Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we...
ROSEANNE BARR The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment 'Roseanne' dropped out of the t...
ROSEANNE BARR After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by produc...
ROSEANNE BARR I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I...
ROSEANNE BARR Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hu...
ROSEANNE BARR Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I c...
ROSEANNE He attacked the nurses, he attacked widow's pensions, he attacked firefighters, he attacked teachers...
ROSEANNE There isn't any 'New Man.' The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.
ROSEANNE A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut...
ROSEANNE I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I fi...
ROSEANNE Birth control that really works: Every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
ROSEANNE I hate the word housewife; I don't like the word home-maker either. I want to be called Domestic God...
ROSEANNE The world makes you into a bitch, no matter how quietly you go, so you may as well go kicking and sc...
ROSEANNE Anthony's place at the table since he was a toddler was next to mine, ... Now that seat is empty.
ROSEANNE My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
ROSEANNE I'm only upset that I'm not a widow. [On her ex-husband Tom Arnold]
ROSEANNE The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
ROSEANNE The inspector general is still in the process of assessing the referral from the [auditor], ... No o...
ROSEANNE The auction was actually pretty sloppy,
ROSEANNE I think we're looking at a pretty strong housing market despite the fact that starts didn't rise, .....
ROSEANNE I'm pleased that it was so successful, ... I hope they pay attention to the video so we don't lose a...
ROSEANNE The kids got to run some plays which they have been working on in practice tonight, ... It is always...
ROSEANNE I'd see them leave at the end of the show and think, 'Maybe for the rest of the night something is h...
ROSEANNE Business has turned really sluggish. There is a lack of traffic in the stores, ... There is overall ...
ROSEANNE The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
ROSEANNE There's a certain class of mutual fund investors who are quite sensitive to negative news. And you c...
ROSEANNE I know how to do anything - I'm a mom.
ROSEANNE I saw Sinatra and the Pope on TV when I was two and said 'Who's that guy with Frank Sinatra?'
ROSEANNE Women are cursed and men are the proof.
ROSEANNE [Her talk of entrepreneurship falls on receptive ears at WIM, more so now than ever.] Previously, ab...
ROSEANNE There were some issues and a lack of police presence,
ROSEANNE I think books find their way to you when you need them.
ROSEANNE CASH Kindness is always fashionable, and always welcome.
AMELIA BARR The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
AMELIA BARR The 2011 riots in England, which left five dead and caused more than $300 million in property damage...
BOB BARR Guys always think tears are a sign of weakness. They’re a sign of FRUSTRATION. She’s only crying...
DONNA BARR Unfortunately, most gun control advocates are not really interested in rational debate, and their po...
BOB BARR Despite two decisions, in 2008 and 2010, by the U.S. Supreme Court unequivocally affirming that the ...
BOB BARR Iran is not a make-believe country. It is a real country populated by some 75 million people - real ...
BOB BARR Taking privacy cues from the federal government is - to say the least - ironic, considering today...
BOB BARR Looking down the road, space exploration and the benefits it yields - in medicine and information te...
BOB BARR Chicago is known for good steaks, expensive stores and beautiful architecture. Unfortunately, the Wi...
BOB BARR It's not a gun control problem; it's a cultural control problem.
BOB BARR Food is a huge passion of mine, and because I want to eat whatever I want, I run every morning, and ...
MATT BARR I know my husband really loves me because he takes me to have ribs. He says I'm the only girl he...
JULIA BARR The seemingly omnipresent storm clouds hanging over the Constitution often make it hard to find a si...
BOB BARR The move to tax Internet sales, clothed as a 'fairness' issue, is the typical 'wolf-in-s...
BOB BARR There are no little events in life, those we think of no consequence may be full of fate, and it is ...
AMELIA BARR Spiritual favors are not always to be looked for, and not always to be relied on.
AMELIA BARR This world is run with far too tight a rein for luck to interfere. Fortune sells her wares; she neve...
AMELIA BARR Whatever the scientists may say, if we take the supernatural out of life, we leave only the unnatura...
AMELIA BARR Human relations are built on feeling, not on reason or knowledge. And feeling is not an exact scienc...
AMELIA BARR The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much
AMELIA BARR Solitude is such a potential thing. We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry and turmo...
AMELIA BARR It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.
AMELIA BARR The great difference between voyages rests not with the ships, but with the people you meet on them.
AMELIA BARR Kindness is always fashionable.
AMELIA BARR . . . solitude is such a potential thing. We hear voices in solitude, we never hear in the hurry an...
AMELIA BARR We came out intense and aggressive, ... That was one of the best first quarters I've seen from an Io...
ANDY BARR I thought our girls did a great job of defending five, six, seven passes all night long. It is a cre...
ANDY BARR I thought our girls did a great job of defending five, six, seven passes all night long, ... It is a...
ANDY BARR They really slow it down offensively. They'll push the ball if they get a break, great. If not, they...
ANDY BARR It just shows how unselfish a player she is, ... She cares about the team's success more than her ow...
ANDY BARR Accepting federal funding undermines state sovereignty as states become beholden to federal requirem...
BOB BARR Organizations worried about the potential for e-voting problems have long-advocated for audit proced...
BOB BARR The average American returning from a trip abroad likely - and understandably - assumes the contents...
BOB BARR That is the great mistake about the affections. It is not the rise and fall of empires, the birth an...
AMELIA BARR It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it.
AMELIA BARR We are witnessing nothing less than symptoms of a cancer on the American presidency. If we fail to r...
BOB BARR obstructed a law enforcement investigation and otherwise engaged in behavior in violation of the Rul...
BOB BARR As Rome burned, Nero fiddled, ... ... The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames ...
BOB BARR I believe he should resign rather than bring further discredit on the House of Representatives,
BOB BARR If in fact the U.N. through this effort ... moves in that direction, then I think it will make it mo...
BOB BARR There was no consistent message with regard to impeachment.
BOB BARR What prompted me was we finally have two governors (Napolitano and New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson )...
BOB BARR (The ruling is) certainly not going to have any effect on the inquiry of impeachment.
BOB BARR We are in fact moving rapidly toward having a national ID, something which bothers me greatly. We've...
BOB BARR I think this creates further a credibility gap for the government, and it is certainly fortuitous th...
BOB BARR My sister was drowning in the ocean once, and my brother and I dove in and saved her. True story. Sh...
MATT BARR Going to war against Iran - whether one calls such a move 'surgical' or 'total' - wo...
BOB BARR Now, national conventions are largely an excuse for companies and party leaders to throw parties for...
BOB BARR I call myself a 'domestic goddess.'.
ROSANNE BARR In a single generation, the Internet has given to virtually every person on the face of the earth th...
BOB BARR Firearms manufacturers usually find themselves playing defense.
BOB BARR It is not just software glitches and corrupted memory cards that should be on the minds of election ...
BOB BARR As Rome burned, Nero fiddled, ... ... The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames o...
BOB BARR No contemporary poet has brought so much lived experience into such formally perfect poems as Richar...
JOHN BARR We are confident that the merger authorities will conclude that this merger is unlawful and cannot g...
WILLIAM BARR When conducted with proper preparation, and in a focused and professional manner, oversight of execu...
BOB BARR The legal principle placing the burden of proof on accusers rather than the accused can be traced ba...
BOB BARR The waves were coming over the boat and it was cold and very wet.
JIM BARR It is little men know of women; their smiles and their tears alike are seldom what they seem.
AMELIA BARR All changes are more or less tinged with melancholy, for what we are leaving behind is part of ourse...
AMELIA BARR Coming away from that with zero points really hurt. Then we got the football to start the second hal...
CRAIG BARR We'll see how these go, and if demand is high, we'll start offering our semester long classes in the...
AMY BARR Our current learners come from a wide variety of backgrounds. We've got students from the home schoo...
AMY BARR People and organizations other than doctors increasingly are assuming power to decide which medicati...
BOB BARR I realized that while we may not be able to donate as much as we would have liked if we had not been...
YVETTE BARR I think he's very open, ... He seems to weigh any given proposal on its merits.
JAMES BARR They were grabbing and holding Jones' jersey all night long, but then we got the offensive (penalty)...
CRAIG BARR Presidential and vice-presidential debates are not about campaign staff or consultants, and it is hi...
BOB BARR It is high time for some congressional oversight backbone.
BOB BARR That's definitely the most modern dance-like piece. She used a lot of partnering and creating fantas...
AMY BARR To have 100 percent efficacy is something that you have very rarely. We're breaking out the champagn...
ELIAV BARR If you give David Bolland five seconds in the slot like that, he's probably going to get off a prett...
DAVE BARR The numbers just weren't there this evening,
BOB BARR the current team, I don't think, will remain nor should it.
BOB BARR that's not a decision that has been conveyed to us with any finality by the chairman ... I'm confide...
BOB BARR But what do we know of the heart nearest to our own? What do we know of our own heart?
AMELIA BARR I think one of the best ways to learn about gardening is to visit gardens.
BRIAN BARR This agreement validates our strategy to create a large and diverse development portfolio across the...
BRIAN BARR Courts have long recognized the federal government's robust power to inspect people and goods en...
BOB BARR That’s the thing about living on the earth – we humans can make all sorts of decisions and plans...
HEIDI BARR There is no other place that we have where we can use live fire as we do in Vieques. That would put ...
BOB BARR We've accomplished, as a team, more than many other members -- probably most other members of the Co...
BOB BARR It is difficult, if not impossible, to argue that laws written in the 1970s are adequate for today's...
BOB BARR Now, members of Congress will vote on a final conference report knowing that the FBI has in fact bee...
BOB BARR We've accomplished, as a team, more than many members.
BOB BARR I'd get married again. But only to a lesbian.
ROSANNE BARR GTE must be in a position, if necessary, to vindicate its rights and ensure that all its concerns ha...
WILLIAM BARR Our board is kind of absorbing and digesting where we are now, and what the Legislature has been dis...
GREG BARR I love that record, it's a classic. It's one of those songs that if you hear it when you're having a...
BILL BARR I even mentioned it would only be right if we had a school named after him and he said no.
BILL BARR He's an amazing man. Here is a man of unbelievable character... who has his ideals and philosophies ...
BILL BARR At some point, there may be a reason, but they need to say why they need to be on at this time.
BILL BARR