Kleptomaniac, n.: A rich thief.

GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient.

You were born rich and influential. You can do rich and influential in jammies and bunny slippers.

Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.