Kinko's is my favourite copy place cause it's open 24 hours, like if it's three in the morning, and I suddenly decide I need two of something, I'm covered.

The time it takes for that to happen determines the length of the cycle-roughly 24 hours-and keeps the clock going.

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.

A severed foot is the perfect stocking stuffer.

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F**k it. Cut em up."

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?