FastSaying
Kessa began to cut her meat into tiny pieces. As a whole it was unmanageable, frightening; but divided and arranged, the meat could be controlled. She cut four pieces. She'd count to four between each bite.
Steven Levenkron
anorexia
control
eating-disorder
ocd
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[. . .] and in addition to the feeling of being full there was another more terrifying one, as if a hundred appetites were raging out of control within her. She couldn't explain it, but she felt as if everything was in chaos and something awful was going to happen. She had eaten and now something terrible would occur.
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She'd lost two more pounds. A picture of the models she'd cut out of the magazine flashed through Kessa's mind. And the winner is... seventy-three!
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She began to be reassured by these pains, tangible symbols of her success in becoming thinner than anyone else. Her only identity was being "the skinniest." She had to feel it.
— Steven Levenkron
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Soon I'll be thinner than all of you, she swore to herself. And then I'll be the winner. The thinner is the winner.
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How silly people were to eat. They thought they needed food for energy, but they didn't. Energy came from will, from self-control.
— Steven Levenkron
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