Jack-This makes me feel like a man. Will-Yeah. Jack- No, seriously, I'm going to need a man after we're done.

(Jack prepairing to tell his mom he's gay)Grace: You'd think after 30 years it'd be liberating.Jack: Oh no, we're not telling her I'm 30!

Grace-[to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops.

Oh cripes honey, let me give it to you in a nutshell. Your boyfriend's a big, flaming, leather-wearing, man-kissing, disco-dancing, vermont-living, christina aguilera-lovin', mykonos-going...honey take it home.

Once a man holds public office he is absolutely no good for honest work.

Can Derrick Blaylock be Priest Holmes? No. But can Derrick be Derrick Blaylock? Yeah. He can go out and do a great job, and Larry Johnson can go out and do a great job.