I've had a hard time the last two weeks. I was on suicide watch for a couple of weeks there. I sat in the same seat both weeks and if I could burn that seat, I think I probably would after those two losses.

You have to let it happen and not think about what it might mean. The only time you want to be thinking about it is if you have a three-shot lead walking down the 18th fairway on Sunday.

I sometimes stare into fire or into the night sky alone and wish for a girl or my situation to be different. I also then think why would god who created the beautiful Earth let Humans suffer and act the way they do. But I then realize that god has left you and everyone else a long time ago. This is the reason why I do not live my life for him. Because in the end, the only god who is always guaranteed to call for you by name, is Death.

I was mad when we were losing in he first half. One of my friends was keeping me posted on the score.

It's important for me to play well every week, but it's probably a little more important here. I guess the sad thing is I'm playing good golf and I'm 2-under par, but it's just inexcusable. You cannot putt like I've been putting for three days. I'm tired of it, and I really hope I can get some things turned around on the greens.

Holing a shot like that is something you live for. I didn't want to leave the family out of it.