I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.