I've been kidnapped by a madman in tights and a cape.
Chelsea M. Campbell
Related
In terms of style, I'm really inspired by Foxy Brown and Naomi Campbell.
JUSTINE SKYE Real art has been... what's the word? Kidnapped? No, that's not it. But, OK, kidnapped by bu...
VIVIENNE WESTWOOD Would Alexander, madman as he was, have been so much a madman, had it not been for Homer?
SAMUEL RICHARDSON My character was kidnapped by the Terminator and I was kidnapped by the Terminator production.
CLAIRE DANES Well, I tell you, I don't know that he's been kidnapped. I should say I'm hoping he's been kidnapped...
DANIEL WALKER Kidnapped by a vampire, death by a squid. How tragic.
ABIGAIL GIBBS Imagine life as a game, a game that is filled with obstacles and hazards to overcome but sometimes y...
GARY F EVANS... One's ideas must be as broad as Nature if they are to interpret Nature
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE I began by saying that our history will be what we make it. If we go on as we are, then history will...
EDWARD R. MURROW How do you know about the world is real?...
How?...
How you don't think that you are locke...
DEYTH BANGER When art calls, you have to follow it. It doesn’t happen often, so take the opportunity when it st...
A.M. WILLARD When a lot of voices, make up a noise, the man who is silent represents a voice.
APURVA GAGLANI The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.
SALVADOR DALI We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. like a small flame. ...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Allie, what do the Stars tell me to do? You know I don't understand the scientific part.
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN The capacity of humans to believe in what seems to me highly improbable- from table tapping to the s...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN It is strange being in a crowd where no one knows your face or cares for your purpose. In Lykos, I w...
PIERCE BROWN The first ballet is a violin concerto. It's danced on point. Women are in leotards and tights. The m...
WILLIAM WHITENER Being kidnapped and abused by the undead was worse than calculus, but not by a wide margin.
THOMM QUACKENBUSH A werewolf tossed me against a giant packing crate while I was trying to rescue a frightened young g...
PATRICIA BRIGGS I have woken up…quite sloshed
from night-mingled rains
a little drugged, by mountain fog...
SANOBER KHAN Every madman considers everyone else a madman.
UNKNOWN A diplomat had been kidnapped, a cabinet minister had been kidnapped, they were under threats of mur...
ROBERT BOURASSA When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing w...
A.A. MILNE Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and s...
CARTER CROCKER Ive done Hay Fever and this one was called Another Time by Ronald Harwood.
JEFFREY JONES I'm a Chelsea season-ticket holder, and I've supported them for 37 years, so any judgment of...
SEBASTIAN COE I dont believe in luck. Ive only ever felt lucky finding God and even that was not by chance.
MEG NEZAJ You are a bloody-minded savage. I hope you are kidnapped by centaurs.
TAMORA PIERCE can't forget what has been done by the U.S. military and other foreign military who kidnapped me on ...
JEAN-BERTRAND ARISTIDE I don't know if they're really like everybody else, or if they're able to pretend they are.
MADELEINE L'ENGLE Even Lot might have been mistaken. But that’s what he promised ‘em – his virgin daughters, you...
ROBERT A. HEINLEIN God is the strength in which I trust." Lesson 47, A Course In Miracles
HELEN SCHUCMAN You're full of contradictions, Ms. Wallace."
I looked up at him and arched a brow. "I'm a girl...
TAMMARA WEBBER There isn't an hour of my life without you in it. I mend the boats, test them and all the while the ...
NICHOLAS SPARKS You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently.
Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m...
SARAH J. MAAS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS A space station is a rangy monstrosity, a giant erector set built by a madman.
MARY ROACH No, I love it at Chelsea. I've been here since I was 14, and I'm 28 now. All my friends are ...
JOHN TERRY I tried to think of a vice I want to sacrifice, and ended up reasoning that I need my bad habits, de...
SARA BAUME History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN There have been a lot of problems on 12th and Chelsea. We've complained and complained about speedin...
FRANK RODER If I provide for this life and turn away from the Lord, I am wise for a moment, but lost forever.
FRANCINE RIVERS The only way he could have her was to shatter this stubborn faith of hers. In doing so, would he sha...
FRANCINE RIVERS Love is simple. You fall and that's it. You'll work the other stuff out. You just gotta let yourself...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live wi...
JOAN POWERS Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't,' said Pooh...
A.A. MILNE How lucky I am to have known somebody and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful.
EVANS G. VALENS By the side of the everlasting Why there is a Yes--a transitory Yes if you like, but a Yes.
E.M. FORSTER I was kidnapped by aliens, they came down from outer space with ray guns, but I fooled them by weari...
NEIL GAIMAN The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison
SARAH J. MAAS I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you.
SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain...
SARAH J. MAAS Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor.
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN You do what you love, what you need
SARAH J. MAAS I turned.
Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere...
SARAH J. MAAS I have always been a romantic, one of those people who believes that a woman in pink circus tights c...
TOM ROBBINS It was a good apple too. A good apple, picked by a madman on a full moon night.
STEVEN HERRICK Every lover is, in his heart, a madman, and, in his head, a minstrel.
NEIL GAIMAN Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different.
JOHNNIE DENT JR. We sent in the survey to let people know we are in business in Cape Coral and we want to build a bet...
BUFFY PARMENTIER I don't know why people think I'm polished - I often leave the house with buttons missing an...
SOPHIE ELLIS-BEXTOR Fate wrote her [Queen Caroline] a most tremendous tragedy, and she played it in tights.
MAX BEERBOHM The poet is a madman lost in adventure.
PAUL VERLAINE Nothing that is good can become stuck – and if it is stuck, it can’t be any good!
SILVIA HARTMANN The story goes as the line follow... alone... loony....
...
That's what's happening....
DEYTH BANGER Needle in a haystack's easy - just bring a magnet."
Eliot stared witheringly at Hardison....
KEITH R.A. DECANDIDO These philosophically fun ideas usually satisfy nobody. Nonetheless, they remind us that ignorance i...
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON This is the spot where I will lie
When life has had enough of me,
These are the grasses ...
SARA TEASDALE I've got no other home to go to, not anymore. When I look at England now I see a dead place, Rupert....
LEV GROSSMAN Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right.
GRATEFUL DEAD The world pays no attention to those who have nothing to offer
BERNARD KELVIN CLIVE Tea followers were among the earliest converts to the Christian faith. Takayama Ukon, a daimyo turne...
F. CALVIN PARKER Everyone's weird, I'm just a bit bizarre.
PENNIE LILLIAN As they say on my own Cape Cod, a rising tide lifts all the boats. And a partnership, by definition,...
JOHN FITZGERALD KENNEDY Unsubscribe from should-a, would-a, could-a
MICHAEL H. DANSBURY A successful teacher is one who has atleast 2 students in his class, one who sees no reason to study...
APURVA GAGLANI And even if you do wear a maid outfit, it doesn't change the fact that you're strong or that you're ...
HIRO FUJIWARA The director of the Road Safety Authority comes on the radio to tell me that today is the day of the...
SARA BAUME Everything is very nearly over. And so none of the normal rules of behavior apply. And so none of my...
SARA BAUME But I know I will do neither; nothing. I have all the time in the world, and yet, I can't be bothere...
SARA BAUME So it's as if,' I say, 'I'm okay in my own bones, but I know that my bones aren't living up to other...
SARA BAUME There really isn't much wrong with me,' I say, 'it's just that, well, I'm not like other people; I d...
SARA BAUME I knew precisely what things I wanted to do—and when and why—and I was deeply resentful of other...
SARA BAUME There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a madman.
GEORGE ORWELL Yes, Haven, most of us enjoy preaching, and Ive got such a bully pulpit!
THEODORE ROOSEVELT When everyone has a microphone, you can't hear anything. Choose one voice carefully and listen in.
RICHIE NORTON Shes been the biggest nightmare for me. Ive lost to her the most than any other player.
MEGHANN SHAUGHNESSY I don't really like pants, man. I like tights. I'm not really a pants person. I choose not t...
TAYLOR MOMSEN they were all ordinary until they took the extraordinary steps with courage to leave the extraordina...
ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Shes become the heart and soul of the team. Shes the true center half weve been missing the five yea...
EVA LANG A godmother is always there and genuine.The help she has given will never be forgotten but will glis...
GARY F EVANS... If tomorrow was yesterday then yesterday would be tomorrow, if we think about the past why not think...
GARY F EVANS... Start seeing a way for yourself. Stop seeing a way for others.
APURVA GAGLANI and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take of...
BRET EASTON ELLIS We're helping a nation that was being murdered by a madman. He was a dictator that needed to be remo...
GARY PEABODY Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you...
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE Those who are clever, who have a Brain, never understand anything.
, INSPIRED BY A. A. MILNE
More Chelsea M. Campbell
Love is simple. You fall and that's it. You'll work the other stuff out. You just gotta let yourself...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming.
"You know ...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I can't promise not to make you mad. I can't promise that I won't hurt you. All I can promise is tha...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I can't take anything you don't give me. Stop giving me power over your life.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON Good. Because we could be amazing. You and me.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON Are you saying I'm not a badass? Then all these tattoos were for nothing. What shall I do?
CHELSEA M. CAMERON Just to let you know, I talk in my sleep." He shifted on his bed and chucked something on the floor....
CHELSEA M. CAMERON It's not your job to save me...but I want you around.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I'd rather be your loser than some other girl's winner.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON Hunter kissed me as if he was going to hell, and he had this one kiss left and he was going to make ...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON That's what they all say. Everyone says they want to know you, but they don't. They want to know the...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON We were both broken, trying to become unbroken. Maybe we just needed a little help. Not to fix each ...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I want you. Right now. If you said yes, I would kiss you. I would kiss you until we both forgot that...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I don't like you. I don't like how your hair smells, and how I can't stop thinking about waking up a...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON It's none of his business."
"You are my business. I made you my business. I want you to be my b...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON Love is simple. You fall and that's it. You'll work the other stuff out. You just gotta let yourself...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I had to leave my debit card at home when I went into a bookstore or else I would drain my account.
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I love you, Missy girl. Even if I can't be with you, know that I'm here. So, that's it. More than th...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON What did he do to you?”
“This,” I said, holding up my hand. There was a shattering...
CHELSEA M. CAMERON I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
CHELSEA HANDLER The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it'...
CHELSEA HANDLER You can't fast-forward heartbreak, and you can't rewind love - and that's just one big b...
CHELSEA HANDLER So many people: Lucille Ball is the earliest incarnation of a woman I thought was funny, Joan Rivers...
CHELSEA PERETTI When my father announced his campaign for president on Oct. 3, 1991, I had already cast my vote in f...
CHELSEA CLINTON There's something about the Pacific Northwest, the scale of it, and the fact that not so long ag...
CHELSEA CAIN Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.
CHELSEA HANDLER My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do t...
CHELSEA HANDLER My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good...
CHELSEA HANDLER While watching the revelry in the Barn, I'd had an epiphany. Parties weren't just about who was who ...
CHELSEA SEDOTI Unfortunately, it seems to me that when it comes to issues affecting the trans community, most peopl...
CHELSEA MANNING Suffrage is not a right afforded to everyone. Rather, voting is a privilege in the United States - a...
CHELSEA MANNING Wear an unusual accessory to complete your outfit.
CHELSEA LEYLAND I've always been incredibly proud of both of my parents and proud of the work I had done private...
CHELSEA CLINTON My grandmother, who passed away at the beginning of November, had a core adage in her life that '...
CHELSEA CLINTON I hope telling stories though 'Making a Difference' - as in my academic work and nonprofit w...
CHELSEA CLINTON The best thing about being a DJ is making people happy. There is nothing like seeing people get up f...
CHELSEA LEYLAND Patriotism is often the cry extolled when morally questionable acts are advocated by those in power....
CHELSEA MANNING I've been a huge fan of Marc Jacobs for many, many years, even going back to when I was wearing ...
CHELSEA MANNING Having a birthday around the holidays was never easy and, with every successive year, it felt more a...
CHELSEA MANNING My mother has often said that the issue of women is the unfinished business of the 21st century. Tha...
CHELSEA CLINTON I believe that engaging in the political process is part of being a good person.
CHELSEA CLINTON Oxford is wonderful. I'm having a great time. We do go out, but I still try to spend most of my ...
CHELSEA CLINTON I certainly believe that all of my friends should have the right, as Marc and I did, to marry their ...
CHELSEA CLINTON There's something else that my mother taught me, public service is about service. And, as her da...
CHELSEA CLINTON I hope to make a positive, productive contribution, as cheesy as that may sound.
CHELSEA CLINTON As a kid, I was pretty obsessed with dinosaurs and the day that my parents took me to Dinosaur Natio...
CHELSEA CLINTON We need Hollywood to make movies and television shows about sexy female engineers.
CHELSEA CLINTON My dad had always been a big decaf coffee drinker. But my mom had always been more of a tea drinker....
CHELSEA CLINTON My earliest memory is my mom picking me up after I had fallen down, giving me a big hug and reading ...
CHELSEA CLINTON And every day that I spend as Charlotte and Aiden's mother, I think about my own mother, my wond...
CHELSEA CLINTON For most of my life, I did deliberately lead a private life and inadvertently led a public life.
CHELSEA CLINTON People recognize me. Most people are really nice. Sometimes people say, 'Hi, Chelsea.'
CHELSEA CLINTON Changing laws and changing the political dialogue, while necessary, is insufficient to ensure that b...
CHELSEA CLINTON I had seen people who had lost everything and everyone they loved to war, famine, and natural disast...
CHELSEA CLINTON At the fourth grade level, girls at the same percentages of boys say they're interested in caree...
CHELSEA CLINTON We have to do whatever we can to ensure that no child dies of diarrhea.
CHELSEA CLINTON Role models really matter. It's hard to imagine yourself as something you don't see.
CHELSEA CLINTON Determination gets you a long way.
CHELSEA CLINTON Millennials regularly draw ire for their cell phone usage. They're mobile natives, having come o...
CHELSEA CLINTON I love the fact that we are surrounded by this spectacular natural beauty that routinely strikes us ...
CHELSEA CAIN That's who my mom is. She's a listener and a doer. She's a woman driven by compassion, b...
CHELSEA CLINTON We need women who are at the head of a boardroom, like at the head of the White House, at the head o...
CHELSEA CLINTON Gender presentation should reflect the person that you are. When you lose control of your gender pre...
CHELSEA MANNING When I say that I went to grad school in Iowa City, people often assume that I went to the famed wri...
CHELSEA CAIN When I chose to disclose classified information, I did so out of a love for my country and a sense o...
CHELSEA MANNING I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd l...
CHELSEA HANDLER As a young queer kid growing up, I explored my identity through the Chicago and Washington, D.C., cl...
CHELSEA MANNING I hope that my children will someday be as proud of me as I am of my mom. I am so grateful to be her...
CHELSEA CLINTON I do really well in the traditional board games: Backgammon, Checkers.
CHELSEA CLINTON If I could perform on stage with any musical act or performer, it would be Sugar Ray, just to fulfil...
CHELSEA KANE I have traveled a fair amount, and I have visited some great cities. I love architecture and museums...
CHELSEA CAIN I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-of...
CHELSEA PERETTI The fight for justice for the transgender community is largely invisible to our fellow citizens, des...
CHELSEA MANNING The insecurity that comes from being behind bars with, at best, imperfect oversight makes us all fee...
CHELSEA MANNING Millennials are often portrayed as apathetic, disinterested, tuned out and selfish. None of those ad...
CHELSEA CLINTON The evidence is overwhelming that it should be deemed as such: solitary confinement in the U.S. is a...
CHELSEA MANNING My parents always asked me what I thought, listened to my opinions, articulated their diagnoses of o...
CHELSEA CLINTON I never considered myself a supermodel or anything like that. I mean, I don't think I'm ugly...
CHELSEA HANDLER The first sort of big present I remember getting from Santa Claus was quite a small telescope that I...
CHELSEA CLINTON We're seeking out such grossness in human behavior and want such mindless entertainment. 'Th...
CHELSEA HANDLER The wounding legacy of segregation and growing up knowing adults who had worked for civil rights and...
CHELSEA CLINTON Every day at some point I encounter some sort of anti-American feeling.
CHELSEA CLINTON Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are ridiculous-looking - especially her. They're so strange and cha...
CHELSEA HANDLER She couldn't get that a wanted a car that was a little broken. When something starts out perfect, it...
CHELSEA SEDOTI While incarcerated, I had no bank statements, no bills, no credit history. In our interconnected wor...
CHELSEA MANNING In the years preceding my imprisonment, I worked as a software programmer, designing and developing ...
CHELSEA MANNING The one place I never felt at all comfortable in the military was in private circles of conversation...
CHELSEA MANNING I have always maintained a strong opposition to marriage because I would have to be in serious denia...
CHELSEA HANDLER It was Valentine's Day and I had spent the day in bed with my life partner, Ketel One. The two of us...
CHELSEA HANDLER I only do private room karaoke where it's just me and one of my closest girlfriends. My mom alwa...
CHELSEA PERETTI Jennifer Aniston is one of the most down-to-earth, low-key people I know.
CHELSEA HANDLER I think that with podcasts, a lot of things are about fostering and having a direct connection with ...
CHELSEA PERETTI I find the fact that more than 750,000 children still die every year around the world because of sev...
CHELSEA CLINTON I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven ve...
CHELSEA HANDLER I do not think that Caitlyn Jenner's transition was easy. Coming out and transitioning as a publ...
CHELSEA MANNING I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around...
CHELSEA HANDLER There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.
CHELSEA HANDLER Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else'...
CHELSEA HANDLER I have never thought of my life as being an enigma.
CHELSEA CLINTON I think our older people on our team will play a great role on our team this season. We graduated fi...
CHELSEA BAKER The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life.
CHELSEA HANDLER Jordan sounded like she had really lost the plot, and the only thing I can put it down to is hormone...
CHELSEA JOHNSON I love vintage shopping in flea markets, vintage stores and even Ebay.
CHELSEA LEYLAND My husband and I were excited about having a kid - it was having a baby that had us worried. We had ...
CHELSEA CAIN I grew up in Washington State and then eventually found my way back to Iowa City for grad school.
CHELSEA CAIN I've always been more interested in what happens after the bad thing has happened - the fallout ...
CHELSEA CAIN Anyone who's married to Mariah Carey - I'm pretty sure - doesn't have a great sense of h...
CHELSEA HANDLER Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll ha...
CHELSEA HANDLER I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think...
CHELSEA HANDLER Fried chicken is my husband's favorite food.
CHELSEA CLINTON When I was in New York, I got to see Joan Rivers do an hour of material, and it blew my mind. I don&...
CHELSEA PERETTI When I was younger, I was shy. I was overweight. I wore glasses. I got teased a lot, I grew up watch...
CHELSEA COOLEY I do think about marriage, but it's not the end-all goal.
CHELSEA HANDLER The U.S. needs legislation to protect the public's right to free speech and a free press, to pro...
CHELSEA MANNING I cannot be Mary Hart - or even worse, Samantha Harris - and stand there with my hip out talking abo...
CHELSEA HANDLER We can work to get queer and trans people out of the prisons and jails and off the streets, and to i...
CHELSEA MANNING As the youngest of six kids, I grew up spending summers on Martha's Vineyard, and I was always t...
CHELSEA HANDLER Shortly after arriving at a makeshift military jail at Camp Arifjan, Kuwait, in May 2010, I was plac...
CHELSEA MANNING I spent a lot of time denying the idea that I could be gay or trans to myself. From the ages of 14 t...
CHELSEA MANNING I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.
CHELSEA HANDLER A doctor, a judge, or a piece of paper shouldn't have the power to tell someone who he or she is...
CHELSEA MANNING being extraordinary is overrated.
CHELSEA SEDOTI It's an unbelievable feeling. There's no words to describe how good this feeling feels right now.
CHELSEA MCTIGUE I just go up to bat and try to stay relaxed, not get tense and swing.
CHELSEA BAKER I don't pretend to be a great interviewer; I don't even pretend to be good at my job.
CHELSEA HANDLER If Congress will pass a plan that gives real, voluntary Medicare prescription drug coverage ... then...
CHELSEA CLINTON I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.
CHELSEA HANDLER If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk abou...
CHELSEA HANDLER Have you ever been sued by a midget? It's not fun.
CHELSEA HANDLER Gretchen Lowell was beautiful in a very grown-up way, in a sophisticated, confident way. It was more...
CHELSEA CAIN She was a beautiful girl, but the lack of any spark dampened her prettiness.
CHELSEA CAIN I started my own business because my parents had no dowry for me, and I was worried. I ran it from t...
CHELSEA HANDLER I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be...
CHELSEA HANDLER I would say that I have a love-hate relationship with almost everything in my life, including stand-...
CHELSEA PERETTI Through their 'Making a Difference' franchise, I am excited to work with NBC News to continu...
CHELSEA CLINTON I´ve learned about being able to accept myself with diabetes, and I´ve learned a lot about the di...
CHELSEA JOHNSON I can´t remember life without diabetes, ... It´s part of me and I´ve accepted it. I didn´t thin...
CHELSEA JOHNSON I can't remember life without diabetes. It's part of me and I've accepted it. I didn't think twice a...
CHELSEA JOHNSON Jordan was yelling 'I don't want you to go anywhere near him'. I thought it was a joke and started l...
CHELSEA JOHNSON After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe ca...
CHELSEA HANDLER We went to a Barnes and Noble, where I picked up an unauthorized
biography of M.C. Hammer, and ...
CHELSEA HANDLER I had always dreamed of being a professional escort but never thought that there was any real money ...
CHELSEA HANDLER There are many ways to get to know someone, and my favorite is seeing them naked in Happy Baby pose....
CHELSEA HANDLER Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jump...
CHELSEA HANDLER Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger...
CHELSEA HANDLER I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.
CHELSEA HANDLER Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the firs...
CHELSEA HANDLER I had to sit down and explain to [her friend] that AA was for quitters
CHELSEA HANDLER It's not the concept of marriage I have a problem with. I'd like to get married too. A couple times....
CHELSEA HANDLER We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a bunch of space filler, nothing ...
CHELSEA HANDLER One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.
CHELSEA HANDLER I look hot and, most of all, skinny. I love the day after throwing up. I felt like a feather.
CHELSEA HANDLER I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush sp...
CHELSEA HANDLER Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around b...
CHELSEA HANDLER I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.
CHELSEA HANDLER He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her...
CHELSEA HANDLER I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
CHELSEA HANDLER Our relationship finally ended when he took to waking me up in the wee hours of the morning when he ...
CHELSEA HANDLER Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends lik...
CHELSEA HANDLER I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.
CHELSEA HANDLER I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his...
CHELSEA HANDLER My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and cal...
CHELSEA HANDLER Have you ever experienced a pain so sharp in your heart that it's all you can do to take a breath? I...
CHELSEA HANDLER At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbli...
CHELSEA HANDLER I saw him for first time spinning fire out on the beach. Oh my god I totally thought that was hot!
CHELSEA TELLER After years of hiding and holding off because of the trial, I finally announced my intent to change ...
CHELSEA MANNING Ugly people kill people all the time. But when pretty people did, it got attention.
CHELSEA CAIN I'm a late-night host that doesn't want to be tied down by time or television or even hostin...
CHELSEA HANDLER On the night of 4 November 2008, Barack Obama was elected on a platform of 'hope' and 'c...
CHELSEA MANNING As outrageously counter-intuitive as this might seem, the most hardened terrorists and criminals are...
CHELSEA MANNING It's a great accomplishment. I didn't care about anything else except winning this game. It's an Ind...
CHELSEA KILTY I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looki...
CHELSEA HANDLER And why is Heather wearing pink? Come on, people."
Heather rolled her eyes and disappeared back...
CHELSEA FINE I performed after 9/11 for relief workers down by Ground Zero. There were these men just coming back...
CHELSEA PERETTI I'm actually a big fan of Kathy Griffin because I think she's really funny. I think she'...
CHELSEA HANDLER When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything...
CHELSEA HANDLER Burning Man is such a huge part of my life and my identity. The things I believe make me a good pers...
CHELSEA TELLER I think with our problems with hopelessness and cynicism that [the solution] ultimately has to come ...
CHELSEA CLINTON How we use these surpluses in this moment of prosperity will determine America's future for decades ...
CHELSEA CLINTON For all the tornadoes Arkansas has, and the ones that have hit around Little Rock, we never had one ...
CHELSEA CLINTON I didn't wear my knee brace for the first time, so I really felt like I could move around.
CHELSEA WAGNER We're goof balls. We don't really care a whole lot about what's going on around us, as long as we're...
CHELSEA DAVIS I am excited to work with NBC News to continue to highlight stories of organizations and individuals...
CHELSEA CLINTON Great guys exist. They may not be in the package you think you like, and they may not come when you ...
CHELSEA HANDLER I read a lot of 'Nancy Drew' books as a kid and considered myself a bit of an amateur detect...
CHELSEA CAIN Another thing I take issue with are people who take their dogs on "play dates," or even worse, peopl...
CHELSEA HANDLER I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite th...
CHELSEA HANDLER We play as a team. We don?t have one player. We have many players.
CHELSEA MCTIGUE Movies were movies, whether they were old or new. They always captivated me, pulled me into worlds w...
CHELSEA SEDOTI Movies were movies, whether they were old or new. They always captivated me, pulled me into worlds w...
CHELSEA SEDOTI Phew, that was a close one. I just didn't seem to be able to get any good waves. I was lucky to get ...
CHELSEA GEORGESON We were able to get them into foster homes within several hours.
CHELSEA SHERIDAN Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink ag...
CHELSEA HANDLER You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
CHELSEA HANDLER Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not inter...
CHELSEA HANDLER Along with the 97 percent of women who can see, I have never been a fan of redheaded men.
CHELSEA HANDLER You get to learn about different cultures-the different parts of the country. The diversity is diffe...
CHELSEA COWMAN I think it's a great opportunity, especially for students who have wanted to go out of state and cou...
CHELSEA COWMAN We proved we could be safe and secure at home, and still have more allies and friends in the world.
CHELSEA CLINTON Living such an opaque life has forced me never to take transparency, openness, and honesty for grant...
CHELSEA MANNING