It's very different now, my relationship with them,

I'll give you an example. Henry, the old black guy who cooks the corn bread, he worked on the railroads for about 20 years so he knows how to lay and build track.

[Since finishing his acclaimed debut documentary] Dark Days, ... about a group of guys who are the best at what they do and are the first in the door when something goes wrong.

There were times when I was ready to shoot myself,

One of them, who I became really friendly with, used to talk about the tunnels, ... He'd say, 'In the wintertime, I'm going into the tunnels. I'm sick of sleeping out here.'

My brother Joseph is ill. He has leukemia. They say I've shown courage on the football field, but for me it's only on the field, and only in the fall. Joey lives with pain all the time. His courage is 'round the clock. I want him to have this trophy. It's more his than mine, because he's been such an inspiration to me.