It's an ill will that blows when you leave the hairdresser

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.