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It's grueling never knowing if the audience is going to think you're funny. It's soul-destroying when they don't laugh.


Vince Vaughn

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BEN STILLER Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.
JAMES LIPTON People wince when something is in bad taste. They laugh when it's funny. If it's too dirty o...
MICHAEL PATRICK KING I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill
JUDE WATSON It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill
JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea.
JUDE WATSON I'm still a big 'Grey's Anatomy' fan.
BROOKE ELLIOTT I used to watch 'Grey's Anatomy' pretty religiously.
ERINN HAYES Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill
ROLAND SMITH I think there's a big price to pay for consciousness, knowing that it's all going to end and...
DANA CARVEY Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble.
TAYLOR HAWKINS When you're happy you don't always have to be laughing, and when you're sad you don'...
FREDDIE HIGHMORE You know, it's funny... when you're making money, people don't think you're playing ...
PETE FOUNTAIN You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. ...
STEVE CARELL But don't get caught out there looking goofy. It's weird. When you do something that stinks,...
JAMIE FOXX If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are goi...
LEO HOWARD I get called 'the girl off the dancing horse.' I just laugh; I think it's really funny. ...
CHARLOTTE DUJARDIN It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have han...
MITCH HEDBERG Movies these days have made killers into funny people. What's that all about? I've got kids ...
BILLY BOB THORNTON About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo...
PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only...
RICK RIORDAN It don't matter if you put 'The Dance' out, or any old George Strait song. Someone is go...
THOMAS RHETT I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I&...
DANNY DEVITO I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're...
ESTHER WILLIAMS You're assisting the audience to understand; you're giving them a bridge or an access. And i...
JIM HENSON I always find Victoria's Secret models a bit weird.
EDIE CAMPBELL I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And t...
CARROT TOP It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch line...
STEVE BREEN I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still fu...
CONSTANCE WU Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh.
TOM LEHRER I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't thin...
DAVID WALLIAMS 'Big Bang Theory' is not my kind of show. It's not my humor. I don't like multicam c...
ZACHARY KNIGHTON War's not black and white; it's gray. If you don't fight in the gray area, you're go...
MARCUS LUTTRELL I don't consider myself to be incredibly confident, or really lacking in confidence. When you...
JAMES CORDEN I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's fu...
DEMETRI MARTIN I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think i...
KATE CLINTON As an actor you get categorized by other people, but it's not like I arrange myself into comedy ...
SOPHIE THOMPSON You have to be the one promoting yourself. If you don't think that you're worthy, you're...
MISTY COPELAND I think it's very insulting to say, 'White people don't understand.' What are you ta...
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE It's hard to tell with these Internet startups if they're really interested in building comp...
STEVE JOBS There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not goi...
WENDY COPE As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're lau...
LARRY THE CABLE GUY I think probably - I think, you know, when you're first dating somebody, if they're just not...
GREG BEHRENDT You know, I don't think my music is important, I don't think it's changing the world, I ...
SUFJAN STEVENS When you're starting up a show, you don't really know what direction it's going to go.
RACHEL DRATCH Before 'Grey's Anatomy,' I was doing musicals, plays, commercials, you name it.
CHANDRA WILSON I like the anonymity, the fact that you're a stranger making strangers laugh. You aren't for...
TREVOR NOAH The only thing that I don't like is my kids watching comedy that isn't actually funny. There...
STEPHEN COLBERT When I'm not acting, I try to be normal, play golf, play hockey. It's funny because you'...
TAYLOR KITSCH Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not tha...
DANE COOK I see it every day: People trying to create a home that somebody else tells them they should have. I...
NATE BERKUS I don't think Reagan is primarily funny, and I don't think he's primarily marvelous; he&...
EUGENE JARECKI Don't cling to fame. You're just borrowing it. It's like money. You're going to die,...
SONNY BONO Kids will keep it real. If I've ever had in my life a great anchor, it's them. They get in y...
LIONEL RICHIE What's great about having an audience is they can let you know what they don't think is funn...
MAGGIE CAREY I don't think you should try to be anything you're not. If you're not smiling all the ti...
ELLE FANNING I'm proud to say that I was that guy playing the character of Dr. Burke on 'Grey's Anato...
ISAIAH WASHINGTON When you're a guest star on a movie or a TV show, I always say it's like being invited to a ...
ATO ESSANDOH I've got a few ideas," (Amy) admitted. "But I don't know where we're going in the long term. I mean ...
RICK RIORDAN It's hard because you can't legislate creative diversity. I think it's more that the gam...
AISHA TYLER If you look - look at - I mean, look at what's going on with your gasoline prices. They're g...
DONALD TRUMP If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an...
BILL COSBY Most people don't walk around knowing what other people think about them, and I don't think ...
CHRISTINA RICCI All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside...
RICKIE FOWLER Movies are great fun and wonderful when they're good. But you never get to see them till six mon...
LAUREN BACALL I don't think success arrives and you're suddenly happy. It's not like that. If people t...
MICHAEL HUTCHENCE When you're in love, you've found your soul mate, you think life is going one way, and sudde...
SCOTT WEILAND When you start fooling around with drugs, you're hurting your creativity, you're hurting you...
PAUL STANLEY You don't deploy forces into harm's way without knowing what's going on.
LEON PANETTA Nowadays people don't know how to handle it if all the ends aren't tied up and they're n...
ALAN CUMMING I don't want to get myself in trouble - and I don't think I'm super important or anythin...
JUSTIN VERNON With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug...
BROOKE NEVIN I always laugh at these rock n'rollers where you can't understand them. Mind you, it's n...
HARRY CONNICK, JR. My favorite part of a roller-coaster ride is when you're going up and you're slightly scared...
GINA GERSHON From a Darwinian perspective, it is clear what pain is doing. It's a warning: 'Don't do ...
RICHARD DAWKINS I don't like to chase an audience. You can smell when someone is chasing an audience and it'...
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN Acting is a cruel enough business. One minute everyone's going 'Hey!' and the next they&...
JACK DAVENPORT Alas, I think I am becoming a god.
TITUS Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name.
LUCAN I have a wife, I have sons: all of them hostages given to fate.
LUCAN Of course, once you've been a Beatle, you're never really out of it. People always want to k...
GEORGE HARRISON People don't notice whether it's winter or summer when they're happy.
ANTON CHEKHOV If you're sitting in a place like Martha's Vineyard, I don't think you're going to w...
ADAM SCHLESINGER British people don't express when they are in pain. They don't think it's elegant.
MONICA BELLUCCI I don't care what color the parents are. I don't care if it's a giraffe and a fish livin...
PATRICIA POLACCO Don't try to be what you're not. If you're nervous, be nervous. If you're shy, be sh...
ADRIANA LIMA If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possi...
MAYA ANGELOU A sociopath doesn't warm up their environment, doesn't make it cozy. They don't have to;...
WALTER KIRN I think the problem with people, as they start to mature, they say, 'Rap is a young man's ga...
JAY-Z I don't agree that everyone should agree with everyone's lifestyle. I think that some people...
NICKI MINAJ It's sad when girls think they don't have anything going on except being pretty.
KERI RUSSELL You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because som...
CAROL BURNETT When I'm writing a book, you can't think about your audience. You're going to be in big ...
JUDY BLUME A workshop is a way of renting an audience, and making sure you're communicating what you think ...
OCTAVIA BUTLER Kids don't eat fast. They take their time; they talk and laugh. Sometimes it's really annoyi...
ALISON SWEENEY One minute you're a developing athlete trying to get to the top, then the next minute you do wel...
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CARRIE VAUGHN That was a clutch putt. I didn't want to make double there.
VAUGHN TAYLOR I don?t know if it was by accident [the discharge].
MIKE VAUGHN It's a juggernaut, yeah... but I'm not phased by making movies.
MATTHEW VAUGHN As an athlete, you've got to understand there's no loyalty in sports. I understand that and it doesn...
TERRY VAUGHN Despite my living in Virginia, we saw a great deal of each other and supported each other through ou...
DENNIS VAUGHN It was tough the last few years watching my best friend be systematically destroyed bit by bit by th...
DENNIS VAUGHN I'm sure they're working diligently, but it's still disappointing to a lot of us who knew John.
DENNIS VAUGHN I saw John the happiest and most upbeat I have seen him in some time, as he could finally see light ...
DENNIS VAUGHN It's beautiful here. It's a great place to be.
VAUGHN TAYLOR A fucked-up family's a fucked-up family, whether or not werewolves are involved.
CARRIE VAUGHN So, Cormac, have you ever dealt with a PMSing werewolf?'
No.'
Well, it's a real bitch...
CARRIE VAUGHN We've got to keep performing. The batsmen played well on a docile pitch, but this one looks fresher ...
VAUGHN JOHNSON I was actually a single man until I was 41. Rather late. Irish marry late.
ROBERT VAUGHN By virtue of believing in a Supreme Being one embraces certain mysteries.
ROBERT VAUGHN American will have a tough time in 2006, it all depends where the price of oil goes.
VAUGHN CORDLE I went to college with James Coburn and Steve McQueen was a very good friend.
ROBERT VAUGHN When I did 'Stardust,' I was fighting the studio for things I believed were right.
MATTHEW VAUGHN Want some help with help with that stick in your ass, love?"
"No. It's quite comfortable, than...
S.W. VAUGHN I was born on Mather Air Force Base near Sacramento, but we moved around a lot.
CARRIE VAUGHN If we take one away, the other pines.
JIM VAUGHN From where these kids have come from, and then to have something like that make ESPN, it just makes ...
GREG VAUGHN It might be some neighborhood kids, ... [But] even if it's a prank, we're going to take it very seri...
GREG VAUGHN It's a really interesting thing to see a grown man cry. It really gets to a man's heart,
GREG VAUGHN It's a big 'aha!' Once they understand how important it is, they do it. And they hit it out of the b...
GREG VAUGHN There was no question that he loved me, ... But he couldn't get the words out, 'I love you. Son, I r...
GREG VAUGHN I believe with all my heart that there's a new wind blowing, ... It's the spirit of reconciliation, ...
GREG VAUGHN He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fa...
GREG VAUGHN Our guys played extremely hard, especially in the second half.
GLENN VAUGHN The did a good job on the offensive boards in the second half. We played a really good first half, b...
GLENN VAUGHN