It was kind of a game of runs.


Jay Carlin

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I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind.
C LIONG
A family is like a card game, on one hand, you can get a really bad hand and on the other, your hand...
GARY F EVANS...
It was a game of little runs.
BILLY WALLER
I distinctly remember Jay Gibbons hit the grand slam off me at Baltimore. I think I ended up giving ...
CASEY FOSSUM
you have to be the prude or the slut, and if you pick one, other people hate you for it, and you can...
NED VIZZINI
Jay can drive the ball and put it out of the yard. He's going to drive in some runs for us.
BEN GYURE
Most of my kin are bastards," [Tyrion] said with a wry smile, "but you're the first I've had to frie...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
She made a fence of phrases, which seemed a treachery to herself.
ELIZABETH TAYLOR
George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular com...
DREW CAREY
Swift as a deer. Quiet as a shadow. Fear cuts deeper than swords. Quick as a snake. Calm as still wa...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
It may have been Jay Davis' best game here.
CHUCK AMATO
We tried to manufacture some runs, it was too much. That's kind of been our story for some kind now.
DENNY MCCROTTY
We were shown all the scenarios after the game and we were kind of in awe. A lot of guys thought it ...
JOHNNY DAMON
It was the first game we played like that. It was kind of a typical Spring Training game.
BUDDY BELL
She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your he...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
Julia poured tea gracefully, but it all ran over into the saucers.
ELIZABETH TAYLOR
It appeared to Harriet that she was always the one who remembered having seen other people. They nev...
ELIZABETH TAYLOR
Something did happen, and I really don't feel proud of it.
DEYTH BANGER
I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.
SEAN HAYES
The shape does not change. There was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or a...
NEIL GAIMAN
You really won't know where your home is until you meet your own kind and realize you're both playin...
SHANNON L. ALDER
And then it happens. The panic. It's slow at first, creeping through the cracks in my thoughts until...
SARA BARNARD
You kind of wish it was a game that counted - Indianapolis Colts,
IAN GOLD
It was kind of a sloppy game. We didn't play that great.
CALVIN BAISLEY
Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ...
MARK TWAIN
And who are you, the proud Lord said
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different co...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
The great thing about reading is that it broadens your life
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
It was a game of runs. What they did a really good job of was denying the other players, other than ...
DENIS CONROY
I think it was just a tough game. I really don't think either team came out and played as well as th...
CURTIS MURPHY
I don’t know what message to send to Bran. Help him Tyrion.”
“What help could I give him?...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
It was a game of runs. It took pressure and ball-handling skills for us to come out on top. We didn'...
LUTHER SUGGS
I've always thought George Carlin was brilliant.
VICKI LAWRENCE
This is the kind of game that defines a season. It was all worth it.
JOSH SATIN
He was always kind of a student of the game.
ERNIE CHATMAN
It was kind of underthrown and the guy picked it. … Game over.
DEANGELO WILLIAMS
It was a good win, we kind of controlled just abut every aspect of the game.
TIM GARDNER
We kind of forgot the feeling of what it was like to win a big game.
MARK PARRISH
It was a physical game, kind of what we're use to playing in Cincinnati.
JOE SCHOENFELD
A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA
A man of guilt acknowledges and changes himself immediately on being hinted slightly about his fault...
ANUJ SOMANY
The school year progressed slowly. I felt as if I had been in the sixth grade for years, yet it was ...
LUCY GREALY
The value of a consultant;An outsider can see what an insider cannot see or has decided to ignore.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN)
The worth of a person’s quote is in his or her heart where it takes the birth and the value of the...
ANUJ SOMANY
Walking the rugged trail of the unknown destiny can be filled with walls crashing and cracks on the ...
GARY F EVANS...
It makes you wonder why the human race can be so selfish and self-centered sometimes, when on cold w...
GARY F EVANS...
To have a pet in the family is to invite good health into your lives.It brings happiness to all and ...
GARY F EVANS...
I can see you have a great deal of water in your personality. Water never waits. It changes shape an...
ARTHUR GOLDEN
كنت أصمت أذعن لمصيري. أحمل دميتي,أنزع ملابسها, أشد شعره�...
مليكة مستظرف
The norm which the society at large has set today categorically is in the form of preventive measure...
HENRIETTA NEWTON MARTIN LEGAL CONSULTANT
This was the first game we really executed defensively. We also had some timely hits late in the gam...
DENNIS TYNER
It was kind of tough kind of coasting through the early game, then having to sit around all day wait...
DEAUNDRE MUHAMMAD
You'll never find another like me because im the original.
RACHEL W
I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm a...
NED VIZZINI
Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one mustn't misuse it.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Humanity should question itself, once more, about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war, on...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Science can purify religion from error and superstition. Religion can purify science from idolatry a...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Wars generally do not resolve the problems for which they are fought and therefore... prove ultimate...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
I kiss the soil as if I placed a kiss on the hands of a mother, for the homeland is our earthly moth...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The vow of celibacy is a matter of keeping one's word to Christ and the Church. a duty and a pro...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
From now on it is only through a conscious choice and through a deliberate policy that humanity can ...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and ...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Today, for the first time in history, a Bishop of Rome sets foot on English soil. This fair land, on...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Pervading nationalism imposes its dominion on man today in many different forms and with an aggressi...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The historical experience of socialist countries has sadly demonstrated that collectivism does not d...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Young people are threatened... by the evil use of advertising techniques that stimulate the natural ...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
When freedom does not have a purpose, when it does not wish to know anything about the rule of law e...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
You will reciprocally promise love, loyalty and matrimonial honesty. We only want for you this day t...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The future starts today, not tomorrow.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The unworthy successor of Peter who desires to benefit from the immeasurable wealth of Christ feels ...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Social justice cannot be attained by violence. Violence kills what it intends to create.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and b...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
The United Nations organization has proclaimed 1979 as the Year of the Child. Are the children to re...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Violence and arms can never resolve the problems of men.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, ther...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
There are people and nations, Mother, that I would like to say to you by name. I entrust them to you...
POPE JOHN PAUL II
I have a sweet tooth for song and music. This is my Polish sin.
POPE JOHN PAUL II
This was kind of a mirror image of the other game.
BOB MARQUARDT
You saw the leader that Jay Cutler was; he took that whole possession in his hands. He kind of remin...
JOSH GATTIS
I had stomach flu and just came out in kind of a down game for me to begin with, ... Then hitting th...
ADAM LAROCHE
Like a deep sad note
played beneath the ocean
waving through the orb
the memories of ...
PAWAN MISHRA
Remember when Jay-Z wore a Che Guevara T-shirt? Nobody knew who Che was. Then Jay-Z wears it, and it...
LAMAR ODOM
Those kind of games come down to one big hit, ... It was a great game.
NED YOST
I'm a fan of Jay-Z, I'mma always be a fan of Jay-Z.
T-PAIN
Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what's on the othe...
GEORGE R.R. MARTIN
I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.
STEPHEN COLBERT
I just felt it was an important time of the game and to be contributing at that stage of the game wo...
ANDREW SYMONDS
It was just a rough start (and) it kind of set the tone for the whole game.
KRAIG BLOMME
DeSalvo threw a hell of a game. Especially after we got two runs, he was hitting his spots and chang...
JOHN RUSSELL
That was a kind of a grind it out Christmas break game. That's a tough, physical team.
LEN BONE
This was a battle worthy of a state semifinal kind of game. It felt like November (the playoffs) ton...
STEVE STITH
The scars of others should teach us caution.
ST. JEROME
They talk like angels but they live like men.
ST. JEROME
Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not...
SAINT AUGUSTINE
The most High approveth not the gifts of the wicked.
SAINT PATRICK
I see that already in this present world I am exalted above measure by the Lord. And I was not worth...
SAINT PATRICK

More Jay Carlin

The first half, we played about three or four minutes of basketball. We came out, and I think they h...
JAY CARLIN
We came close, we just couldn't get over the hump.
JAY CARLIN
In the third quarter, we couldn't put them away.
JAY CARLIN
You've got to make the shots, and we had some breakdowns on defense. We can compete with good teams,...
JAY CARLIN
We went to a zone in the third quarter, then they got the ball to Coffey.
JAY CARLIN
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they...
GEORGE CARLIN
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
GEORGE CARLIN
The status quo sucks.
GEORGE CARLIN
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as bi...
GEORGE CARLIN
When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
GEORGE CARLIN
Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
GEORGE CARLIN
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN
Always do whatever's next.
GEORGE CARLIN
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, W...
GEORGE CARLIN
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don...
GEORGE CARLIN
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
GEORGE CARLIN
I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institution...
GEORGE CARLIN
What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!
GEORGE CARLIN
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN
Meow” means “woof” in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reaso...
GEORGE CARLIN
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN
Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN
People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'Fo...
GEORGE CARLIN
Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ...
GEORGE CARLIN
I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN
Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches e...
GEORGE CARLIN
It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Rememb...
GEORGE CARLIN
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
GEORGE CARLIN
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is ...
GEORGE CARLIN
How is it possible to have a civil war?
GEORGE CARLIN
The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN
We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save ...
GEORGE CARLIN
We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the be...
GEORGE CARLIN
Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will...
GEORGE CARLIN
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN
I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for ...
GEORGE CARLIN
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
GEORGE CARLIN
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
GEORGE CARLIN
There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN
We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
GEORGE CARLIN
Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too la...
GEORGE CARLIN
Look, when that crowd gets to cheering, when we know they're with us, when we know they like us, we ...
BILL CARLIN
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa...
GEORGE CARLIN
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year t...
GEORGE CARLIN
Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook
GEORGE CARLIN
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one h...
GEORGE CARLIN
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
GEORGE CARLIN
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
GEORGE CARLIN
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institution...
GEORGE CARLIN
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN
... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you i...
GEORGE CARLIN
I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil...
GEORGE CARLIN
Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
GEORGE CARLIN
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN
While history offers us many stories worth telling, some belong to other people, who paid for them w...
CARLIN ROMANO
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American be...
GEORGE CARLIN
I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Ky...
GEORGE CARLIN
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
GEORGE CARLIN
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck thi...
GEORGE CARLIN
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than...
GEORGE CARLIN
If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN
Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different....
GEORGE CARLIN
Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom
GEORGE CARLIN
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN
Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience memb...
GEORGE CARLIN
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She sai...
GEORGE CARLIN
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
GEORGE CARLIN
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
GEORGE CARLIN
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
GEORGE CARLIN
At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
GEORGE CARLIN
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the...
GEORGE CARLIN
Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.
GEORGE CARLIN
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
GEORGE CARLIN
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it d...
GEORGE CARLIN
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN
Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN
But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the wh...
GEORGE CARLIN
My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm ...
GEORGE CARLIN
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it&...
GEORGE CARLIN
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class...
GEORGE CARLIN
The commodity price boom is something that's very supportive for Brazil. The real is likely to appre...
CARLIN DOYLE
The current-account surplus showed they've still got money coming into the country and the currency ...
CARLIN DOYLE
Foreigners are coming in and buying Latin American stocks, especially Brazilian. The country is stil...
CARLIN DOYLE
The overall background is positive for Brazil, foreign investors are going in, and investors have a ...
CARLIN DOYLE
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
GEORGE CARLIN
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
GEORGE CARLIN
I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the...
GEORGE CARLIN
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Th...
GEORGE CARLIN
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning...
GEORGE CARLIN
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "Y...
GEORGE CARLIN
It's never just a game when you're winning.
GEORGE CARLIN
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delight...
GEORGE CARLIN
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed...
GEORGE CARLIN
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll b...
GEORGE CARLIN
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish...
GEORGE CARLIN
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
GEORGE CARLIN
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
GEORGE CARLIN
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to...
GEORGE CARLIN
Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
GEORGE CARLIN
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that b...
GEORGE CARLIN
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
GEORGE CARLIN
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
GEORGE CARLIN
If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
GEORGE CARLIN
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elect...
GEORGE CARLIN
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you...
GEORGE CARLIN
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN
They gave you a string instrument - I got a violin. Gave it to me. I got a private lesson a week, a ...
JOHN CARLIN
MTSU brings a different style of play. They are taller than most teams we play so we have to adjust ...
COREY CARLIN
we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
GEORGE CARLIN
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar
GEORGE CARLIN
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can...
GEORGE CARLIN
If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
GEORGE CARLIN
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
GEORGE CARLIN
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can th...
GEORGE CARLIN
Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach t...
GEORGE CARLIN
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
GEORGE CARLIN
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with...
GEORGE CARLIN
I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, c...
GEORGE CARLIN
I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. A...
GEORGE CARLIN
There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.

GEORGE CARLIN
So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’...
GEORGE CARLIN
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
GEORGE CARLIN
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN
I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's ...
GEORGE CARLIN
I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individual...
GEORGE CARLIN
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. ...
GEORGE CARLIN
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed ...
GEORGE CARLIN
There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It se...
GEORGE CARLIN
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
GEORGE CARLIN
[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now the...
GEORGE CARLIN
Life is a series of dogs
GEORGE CARLIN
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN
I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad som...
GEORGE CARLIN
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
GEORGE CARLIN
I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it daw...
GEORGE CARLIN
They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like
GEORGE CARLIN
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the ...
GEORGE CARLIN
I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
GEORGE CARLIN
Jesus was a cross dresser
GEORGE CARLIN
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth
GEORGE CARLIN
The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
GEORGE CARLIN
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
GEORGE CARLIN
What makes me nervous is when I am at an airport and the stewardess says get on the plane. I say fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
GEORGE CARLIN
If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
GEORGE CARLIN
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else
GEORGE CARLIN
I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long ti...
GEORGE CARLIN
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
GEORGE CARLIN
I believe you can joke about anything.
GEORGE CARLIN
I'm the creative type,
GEORGE CARLIN
When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
GEORGE CARLIN
Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
GEORGE CARLIN
He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.
GEORGE CARLIN
Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People
GEORGE CARLIN
You get to play with people's little danger zones.
GEORGE CARLIN
'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations...
GEORGE CARLIN
When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal wea...
GEORGE CARLIN
In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
GEORGE CARLIN
In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing
GEORGE CARLIN
I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity
GEORGE CARLIN
A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'...
GEORGE CARLIN
I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a...
GEORGE CARLIN
If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
GEORGE CARLIN
If the Reds were baseball's first team, who did they play?
GEORGE CARLIN
What if Alexander Graham Bell's name were Alexander Graham Siren? The phone wouldn't ring, it would ...
GEORGE CARLIN
Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that bi...
GEORGE CARLIN