It was a relief for someone to explain what was wrong, what had happened. No one else, none of those doctors in their white jackets or their scrubs - or their comically patterned scrubs if they were trying to bring a sense of humor into a place of smashed bones and dead hearts - none of those people had even tried to explain anything to me. All they could say was they couldn't say anything for sure, that bodies were a mystery, that even blood tests, ultrasounds, X-rays, MRIs, were only little guesses. Whole hospitals shrugged.