It is only the savage, whether of the African bush or of the American gospel tent, who pretends to know the will and intent of God exactly and completely.

One seldom discovers a true believer that is worth knowing

An individual who forces himself to accept this or that idea, or who pretends to accept this or that idea, not only on the ground that believing in it is an act of virtue, but also on the ground that doing so is prudent, is both a fool and a knave

The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.