It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open...I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that resturant.

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to
move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to
relocate? Their house have wheels.

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,