It hurt personally because I had such admiration for Ken and Enron. But that was the right thing to do at the time.

It hurt for a minute, but now I'm ready to go. We're still in charge. It will just make it all the more meaningful when we do win it in St. Louis.

We told him we certainly needed an answer by the latter part of this week. We don't want to be left out in the cold if we can't get Beltran. Moises Alou has moved on. Steve Finley has moved on.

Each year, with our players, I ask them what their goals are. I said, 'Roy, what is one of your goals?' He said, 'To own a bulldozer.' That kind of took me back a little bit. I had never heard that before.

He was one of the first to contact me.

If we could have gotten that one big hit, we could have won that game. We just didn't get that hit.