is that what relationships become? A reduced version of the hurt, nothing else let in.

and i'm thinking, aren't i supposed to be the one who's freaking out here? tiny is going to be the first b-b-b- (i can't do it) boy-f-f-f (c'mon, will) boyf-boyf (here we go) boyfriend of mine that she's ever met.

i am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.
those seem to be the two choices. everything else is just killing time.

i feel like my life is so scattered right now. like it’s all these small pieces of paper and someone’s turned on the fan. but talking to you makes me feel like the fan’s been turned off for a little bit. like things could actually make sense. you completely unscatter me, and i appreciate that so much.

I've never known before what it feels like to want someone-not to want to hook up with them or whatever, but to want them, to want them. And now I do. So maybe I do believe in epiphanies.

I think about how much depends upon a best friend. When you wake up in the morning you swing your legs out of bed and you put your feet on the ground and you stand up. You don't scoot to the edge of the bed and look down to make sure the floor is there. The floor is always there. Until it's not.