Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.

There's no question that alcohol was behind this.

It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times

He seemed to be lying on the bed. He could not see very well. Her youthful, rapacious face, with blackened eyebrows, leaned over him as he sprawled there.

“‘How about my present?’ she demanded, half wheedling, half menacing.

“Never mind that now. To work! Come here. Not a bad mouth. Come here. Come closer. Ah!

“No. No use. Impossible. The will but not the way. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Try again. No. The booze, it must be. See Macbeth. One last try. No, no use. Not this evening, I’m afraid.

“All right, Dora, don’t you worry. You’ll get your two quid all right. We aren’t paying by results.

“He made a clumsy gesture. ‘Here, give us that bottle. That bottle off the dressing-table.’

“Dora brought it. Ah, that’s better. That at least doesn’t fail.

Maybe some folks are alcoholics and others are just voluntary drunks. Maybe some folks drink due to body chemistry and others due to their lazy characters. Maybe some have drinking problems, while others have problems enough to drink.