Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career

When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.