In the funeral home, I never heard laughter like that in my life. The audience was laughing on the screen, and we were laughing in the home.

It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.

Bob Hope was not a television pioneer. He didn't learn his lines. If you don't learn your lines, I don't take you seriously. We never had a (cue) card.

I'm signing the letter that says, let's be quiet when he gets his award and just sit there. I think it's very sad that this man is being honored and the people he destroyed are never going to have a chance to be honored.

[Intel promoted the dual-core processors as] The Processor With Two Brains ... The Man With Two Brains.

There's some awfully good things done today and some awful terrible things done today,