In spite of the horror, in spite of the<br /> tragedy, in spite of the weeks of sleepless<br /> nights, I'm finally alive. I'm not pretending.<br /> I feel real. I'm not playing charades anymore. I wouldn't go back to the way I was for anything. I'm really like a different person. I'm where I am, and I'm making the most of it. I know I'm courageous now. I found out I had it in me to face this. — Barbara