In case you haven't caught the commercials, I'm in the new SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.

If you don't respect me you're not gonna get that respect back.

I have a Guinness Book of World Records entry as the most-watched person on television; now I have a new entry as the only man who has a crab named after him.

If you're not in the game, you can't hit a home run.

I think laughter is the best medicine. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you can't laugh at life and the silliness of it all.

When you realize that life isn't fair, you don't act out, you don't get overly wasted, you don't get self-indulgent. You just move forward.