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I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a part of hell will break loose - it'll be much harder to detect


George Carlin

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I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll b...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it&...
GEORGE CARLIN All hell has broken loose,
JEFF KOINANGE Who would not, finding way, break loose from hell, . . . . And boldly venture to whatever plac...
JOHN MILTON My plea to my Palestinian friends is just a simple plea, ... Don't do anything on May 4 because all ...
TOM LANTOS The moon went down at 3:15, and after that, all hell broke loose.
GREG ROSE We sat and watched the whole thing as all hell broke loose.
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG It's not like turning on or off a light switch. It's not like all hell breaks loose at $50.
JOSHUA FEINMAN This team is having a hell of a lot of fun. This team is loose and excited about playing basketball.
JIM LARRANAGA The best thing is you're in there all by yourself. It's relaxing, and all hell breaks loose next wee...
GARY PARLIN Ten seconds later, basically, all hell broke loose. The plane didn't stop at all. It didn't even slo...
EDDIE HO Once people start realizing that we are all one, all heaven will break loose.
LEIF ERICSSON LEO VENESS He who is the author of a war lets loose the whole contagion of hell and opens a vein that bleeds a ...
THOMAS PAINE I heard a loud crash, and then all hell broke loose. I went straight down, then I was just trying to...
JOSEPH CAPACI You ever get the feeling all hell’s about to break loose and there’s nothing you can do about it...
ALI VALI They were spitting on me, so naturally I spit back. Then all hell broke loose. But that was only one...
JEFF PTAK Hopefully it's not as bad and it's just some scar tissue breaking up and it will stay loose.
ADRIAN AUCOIN Something has to happen to break one guy loose,
ALAN SCHROEDER But wherefore thou alone? Wherefore with theeCame not all hell broke loose? Is pain to themLess pain...
JOHN MILTON [Green Day avoided flying into Miami because the group was already in the city this week to play a s...
BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG Am in the making, you can't break me. Life to me, is a Chain. It will loose just at the right time b...
TEMI 'T QUEST' SHOLEYE To be in a world which is a hell, to be of that world and neither to believe in or guess at anything...
WILLIAM GOLDING If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously ove...
HUNTER S. THOMPSON Right now we've pretty much finished our part, ... They are cut loose and on their own.
DALE FRIEDMAN They're not all loose, they're not all intense, ... It's, 'What are we? Are we an attacking team, ar...
BARRY GORMAN One disastrous inning. We're like any other team in the world. When we play good defense, don't walk...
FRAN RIORDAN I think there are a lot of rules for women. We have a lot of expectations and a lot of rules for wom...
ROXANE GAY You are leaving Gaza today in shame. Today you are leaving hell. But we promise you that tomorrow al...
MOHAMMED DEIF Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave; it is merely a loose mi...
MARK TWAIN Hope is the struggle of the soul, breaking loose from what is perishable, and attesting her eternity...
HERMAN MELVILLE Hope is the struggle of the soul, breaking loose from what is perishable, and attesting her eternity
HERMAN MELVILLE Hell will be Heaven with Friends, Heaven will be Hell without them.
AMAN JASSAL I don’t want any of this. I just want to be what I was before you showed up here and all hell brok...
KRISTIN CAST I don’t want any of this. I just want to be what I was before you showed up here and all hell brok...
P.C. CAST It takes guts. And I think it'd be harder than hell to control.
LEO MAZZONE Three quiet days. This hell fiend is like a cat with a mouse. She lets me loose only to pounce upon ...
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE SR. But wherefore thou alone? Wherefore with thee
Came not all hell broke loose? Is pain to them
L...
JOHN MILTON You have to be like a clock spring, wound but not loose at the same time.
DAVE WINFIELD Since the pharmaceuticals don't make any money and they control the doctors. If the doctors don't ma...
AFRIKA BAMBAATAA We really like this kid. He's got a loose arm and a good feel with all his pitches. Everything about...
RICK ANDERSON We can say we are positively certified and can meet financial obligations for the next two years. Th...
BILL LOOSE There are still some fundamental concerns over Prop. 98. What strings are attached to this money? So...
BILL LOOSE I understand [Schwarzenegger] met with education coalition. As part of the education community we ar...
BILL LOOSE Our new outlook is based on recent customer feedback, which indicates that a meaningful recovery of ...
JOHN LOOSE Recognizing the many uncertainties about the broader economy, we are carefully walking the line betw...
JOHN LOOSE Hell is repetition, you go over and over and over. That's hell, so I will eat your eyes in hell, I w...
DEYTH BANGER But remember that good intentions pave many roads. Not all of them lead to hell.
NEAL SHUSTERMAN Not that being so mature is a bad thing, but there are times to be mature and there are times to be ...
DAVID GALLAGHER We were loose. We got of the bus loose, pre-game was good and we were excited to be back.
CORY WILLIAMS To break yourself loose from the dominion, rulership and manipulation of the devil, you have to embr...
SUNDAY ADELAJA Always look for positivity.Though times may look harder,there may not be smooth sailing but never lo...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Nothing burneth in hell but self-will. Therefore it hath been said, Put off thine own will, and ther...
THEOLOGIA GERMANICA To be in a world which is a hell, to be of that world and neither to believe in or guess at anything...
WILLIAM GOLDING They were playing harder. They were getting after loose balls, long rebounds. We had to match their ...
BYRON SCOTT To break yourself loose from the dominion, ruler-ship and manipulation of the devil, you have to emb...
SUNDAY ADELAJA There is nothing like we will loose today because we lost yesterday and don't loose today to win tom...
SHASHI KIRAN JILLEPALLY On thinking about Hell, I gather
My brother Shelley found it was a place
Much like the cit...
BERTOLT BRECHT This team is very loose. They're confident, but not one player has a swagger to them. That's what I ...
DAN D'AMBOISE You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas.
DAVY CROCKETT Since the pharmaceuticals don't make any money and they control the doctors. If the doctors don&...
AFRIKA BAMBAATAA At least in front of the guys, I was as loose as heck. I was disappointed because we've invested so ...
MIKE BREY Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can hurt like hell.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Let the human mind loose. It must be loose. It will be loose. Superstition and dogmatism cannot conf...
JOHN ADAMS You will loose your sense of solitude on days when all the boaters come streaming by,
DOUG ADAMS If these dogs get loose, they're pretty much gone.
JOAN RAY Too much thinking makes you loose yourself, to little thinking makes you a fool of yourself.
OLASOT I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, ...
BOBBY W. MILLER What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!
MARK TWAIN Any Which Way But Loose.
ALLISON JANNEY I like the glove to be a little loose,
ICHIRO SUZUKI They (Loose Threads Quilt Guild) are a large part of the things we do for the community.
GAIL BELMONT If you cant play tug-o-war with your tampon than your vagina might be a little loose
NERISSA IRVING Nobody knew too much about him but he really helped the defense. His arm is great. It looks loose an...
ERIC DUNCAN Hell of a thing to have to experience, hell of a thing to have to see, to be reminded you're a human...
DEAN KOONTZ Hell is a hell of a lie! God is not a torturer!
MEHMET MURAT ILDAN All right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs.Not my fault.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY To hell with tomorrow. To hell with all problems and barriers. Nothing matters but the Spectacular N...
TIM THARP And all that talk about the breakup being good for us- who am I trying to fool? I'm cut loose, untet...
AMY TAN I was raised in a different era: Loose lips sink ships. I've learned to be quiet about (the draft pr...
BILL POLIAN And George Carlin was a guy that the more he aged the younger he seemed.
KEVIN SMITH The will is that which has all power; it makes heaven and it makes hell: for there is no hell but wh...
WILLIAM LAW I've always thought George Carlin was brilliant.
VICKI LAWRENCE Once he started doing stupid stuff, we just didn't hang out with him that much. Kind of left him alo...
JACK HARDER There are men that will make you books, and turn them loose into the world, with as much dispatch as...
MIGUEL DE CERVANTES SAAVEDRA Hell is a state of mind - ye never said a truer word. And every state of mind, left to itself, every...
C.S. LEWIS If you snooze you loose
PROVERB We shall nobody save or meanly lose the last best hope
ABRAHAM LINCOLN Don't let the urge to everyday, blindfold you to ultimately loose in life.
FAISAL KHOSA El arte de vencer se aprende en las derrotas
SIMóN BOLíVAR Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Here God gives his people some taste, that they may not faint; and he gives them but a taste, that t...
THOMAS BROOKS Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose app...
MARK TWAIN It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter he...
JOSH BILLINGS It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter he...
JOSH BILLINGS The doctor was shocked to see that all my son's teeth were loose.
YANTO SITUMORANG It's childish, but it still gives me great pleasure to see high-res pictures everyone told me wo...
STEFAN HELL I remember the revelation it was to me when I realized I'd rather be smart in the way Elvis Presley ...
RICHARD HELL An autobiography is a life story. It starts when you're born and continues until the end.
RICHARD HELL I imagined there would be a way to crack the diffraction barrier. But of course I didn't know ex...
STEFAN HELL When I do dig down, I'm very [irritated] underneath, ... Why can't I just write a book about taking ...
RICHARD HELL

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GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I see a glass that's twice as bi...
GEORGE CARLIN When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
GEORGE CARLIN Religion is just mind control.
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GEORGE CARLIN There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN Always do whatever's next.
GEORGE CARLIN Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, W...
GEORGE CARLIN One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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GEORGE CARLIN Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institution...
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GEORGE CARLIN That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN Meow” means “woof” in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reaso...
GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'Fo...
GEORGE CARLIN Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ...
GEORGE CARLIN I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches e...
GEORGE CARLIN It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Rememb...
GEORGE CARLIN How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
GEORGE CARLIN I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is ...
GEORGE CARLIN How is it possible to have a civil war?
GEORGE CARLIN The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save ...
GEORGE CARLIN We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the be...
GEORGE CARLIN Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will...
GEORGE CARLIN The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
GEORGE CARLIN I have a suggestion that I think would help fight serious crime. Signs. There are lots of signs for ...
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
GEORGE CARLIN Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
GEORGE CARLIN There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
GEORGE CARLIN Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too la...
GEORGE CARLIN Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa...
GEORGE CARLIN Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year t...
GEORGE CARLIN Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook
GEORGE CARLIN Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one h...
GEORGE CARLIN Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
GEORGE CARLIN The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
GEORGE CARLIN Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institution...
GEORGE CARLIN I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN ... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're ...
GEORGE CARLIN Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you i...
GEORGE CARLIN I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil...
GEORGE CARLIN Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
GEORGE CARLIN Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American be...
GEORGE CARLIN I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Ky...
GEORGE CARLIN The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
GEORGE CARLIN He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck thi...
GEORGE CARLIN There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
GEORGE CARLIN Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
GEORGE CARLIN Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
GEORGE CARLIN Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
GEORGE CARLIN Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
GEORGE CARLIN 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I ...
GEORGE CARLIN Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than...
GEORGE CARLIN If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.
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GEORGE CARLIN Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
GEORGE CARLIN Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience memb...
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GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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GEORGE CARLIN Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the...
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GEORGE CARLIN When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse
GEORGE CARLIN I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it d...
GEORGE CARLIN Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.
GEORGE CARLIN Everyone smiles in the same language.
GEORGE CARLIN But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the wh...
GEORGE CARLIN My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm ...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it&...
GEORGE CARLIN It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
GEORGE CARLIN When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
GEORGE CARLIN I don't have hobbies; hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
GEORGE CARLIN When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the...
GEORGE CARLIN Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Th...
GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning...
GEORGE CARLIN Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "Y...
GEORGE CARLIN It's never just a game when you're winning.
GEORGE CARLIN If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delight...
GEORGE CARLIN If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll b...
GEORGE CARLIN I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish...
GEORGE CARLIN Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
GEORGE CARLIN As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to...
GEORGE CARLIN Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that b...
GEORGE CARLIN If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
GEORGE CARLIN In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
GEORGE CARLIN If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
GEORGE CARLIN The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elect...
GEORGE CARLIN The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you...
GEORGE CARLIN Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
GEORGE CARLIN When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar
GEORGE CARLIN Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can...
GEORGE CARLIN If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
GEORGE CARLIN In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
GEORGE CARLIN When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can th...
GEORGE CARLIN Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach t...
GEORGE CARLIN Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
GEORGE CARLIN I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with...
GEORGE CARLIN I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, c...
GEORGE CARLIN I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves ...
GEORGE CARLIN Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. A...
GEORGE CARLIN There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.

GEORGE CARLIN So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’...
GEORGE CARLIN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
GEORGE CARLIN Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's ...
GEORGE CARLIN I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individual...
GEORGE CARLIN When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. ...
GEORGE CARLIN If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed ...
GEORGE CARLIN There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It se...
GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
GEORGE CARLIN [On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now the...
GEORGE CARLIN Life is a series of dogs
GEORGE CARLIN I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad som...
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
GEORGE CARLIN I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it daw...
GEORGE CARLIN They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like
GEORGE CARLIN Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the ...
GEORGE CARLIN I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
GEORGE CARLIN Jesus was a cross dresser
GEORGE CARLIN By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth
GEORGE CARLIN The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
GEORGE CARLIN Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
GEORGE CARLIN What makes me nervous is when I am at an airport and the stewardess says get on the plane. I say fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
GEORGE CARLIN If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
GEORGE CARLIN If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else
GEORGE CARLIN I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long ti...
GEORGE CARLIN If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
GEORGE CARLIN I believe you can joke about anything.
GEORGE CARLIN I'm the creative type,
GEORGE CARLIN When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
GEORGE CARLIN Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
GEORGE CARLIN He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.
GEORGE CARLIN Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People
GEORGE CARLIN You get to play with people's little danger zones.
GEORGE CARLIN 'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations...
GEORGE CARLIN When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal wea...
GEORGE CARLIN In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
GEORGE CARLIN In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing
GEORGE CARLIN I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity
GEORGE CARLIN A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'...
GEORGE CARLIN I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a...
GEORGE CARLIN If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
GEORGE CARLIN If the Reds were baseball's first team, who did they play?
GEORGE CARLIN What if Alexander Graham Bell's name were Alexander Graham Siren? The phone wouldn't ring, it would ...
GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that bi...
GEORGE CARLIN Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way? My wife can't...
GEORGE CARLIN Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
GEORGE CARLIN Think about it,
GEORGE CARLIN I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people are not particularly good at anything
GEORGE CARLIN I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people
GEORGE CARLIN When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your...
GEORGE CARLIN One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN