I'm Liam of Erinthia. I'm here to rescue you ... And You are not Cinderella. You are a tree branch wrapped in a sheet

I'm not a happy-ending person. I want to know what happens once Cinderella rides off with Prince Charming.

I've always thought Prince Charming in 'Cinderella' was the most boring role; I'd rather be the Wicked Witch.

Once you've been squashed by a giant, a troll doesn't even seem nearly as heavy.

The way I see it, everyone’s been telling the story wrong. I mean, take Cinderella, for example. She never asked for a Prince, let alone waited around for one. Hell, all she ever wanted was a night off from work and a fancy dress to twirl in for a few hours. It’s never made sense to me that I’m supposed to sit around pining for some mythical Prince Charming to get off his ass and rescue me. If that’s the grand game plan, I could end up waiting forever. Because, I mean, if he’s anything like the rest of the male population, the prince is probably stuck in traffic somewhere, or got lost along the way and is too damn stubborn to ask for directions.

Her Dream Prince, Gee Gee, was, then, and of course still might be, though I'd always thought of a Dream Prince as having more hair and less avoirdupois.