Laurie Salzler quote: "I'm assuming you didn't just call me to come out of the closet to a blind woman'<br /><br />'Oh, it's something I do everyday,' Kate said, enjoying Faith's sense of humor. 'I open up a phone book, randomly select a name, dial it, and when they answer, I proclaim I'm a lesbian and then hang up."

It doesn't rain at all in California. Once a month, a man drives through spraying Evian.
HUGH LAURIE

That last winter was a tragic story and I got no personal honour out of it but I was a witness to it...
LAURIE LEE

Introverts are more effective leaders of proactive employees. When you have a creative, energetic wo...
LAURIE HELGOE

If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking...
LAURIE HELGOE

There's a lot to love about America - freedom, the melting pot of diversity, individualism - all...
LAURIE HELGOE

When an introvert is quiet, don't assume he is depressed, snobbish or socially deficient.
LAURIE HELGOE

As a real person, he wouldn't last a minute, would he? But drama is about imperfection. And we&#...
HUGH LAURIE

I've been lucky enough to travel widely. When you're based in Europe, it's very easy to ...
LAURIE GRAHAM

The only stuff I don't like are Broadway musicals. I hate them. I don't even like to talk ab...
LAURIE ANDERSON

I have but one rule at my table. You may leave your cabbage, but you'll sit still and behave unt...
LAURIE GRAHAM

It's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to make a blues ...
HUGH LAURIE

When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And whe...
LAURIE ANDERSON

Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.
LAURIE COLWIN

Barely halfway back, exhaustion sets in. What if I don’t make it? An edge of panic gets intercepte...
LAURIE NADEL

It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that act...
HUGH LAURIE

To me, he's a hero, ... He's not polite. He's not someone you want to take home to meet your mother,...
HUGH LAURIE

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
LAURIE ANDERSON

I grew up with an impatience with the anti-scientific. So I'm a bit miffed with our current love...
HUGH LAURIE

I feel when acting, I am sometimes overly self-conscious; I think, 'Going, no, don't, put yo...
HUGH LAURIE

I think there's a collective consciousness around the world that there are things beyond our con...
LAURIE HOLDEN

I wouldn't be able to act like Al Pacino or play the piano like Dr. John, But I could probably a...
HUGH LAURIE

I have my moments. Ever since I was a boy, I never was someone who was at ease with happiness. Too o...
HUGH LAURIE

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally and if something ...
LAURIE NOTARO

The table is a meeting place, a gathering ground, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivit...
LAURIE COLWIN

The financing of all TV shows is dictated by finding an audience between 18 and 49. I have now passe...
HUGH LAURIE

I really, really, really want to do a silly romantic comedy where I can just have a crush on the guy...
LAURIE HOLDEN

I run six-to-eight miles a day, plus weights and aerobics in the lunch hour. I also lie a lot, which...
HUGH LAURIE

The strange thing - and this is one of the advantages of being incredibly shallow and superficial - ...
HUGH LAURIE

The thing about homebodies is that they can usually be found at home. I usually am, and I like to fe...
LAURIE COLWIN

I myself am not particularly interested in restaurant cooking. I don't really want to learn how ...
LAURIE COLWIN

I am not a fancy cook or an ambitious cook. I am a plain old cook.
LAURIE COLWIN

As everyone knows, there is only one way to fry chicken correctly. Unfortunately, most people think ...
LAURIE COLWIN

The best way to feel at ease in the kitchen is to learn at someone's knee.
LAURIE COLWIN

My idea of a good time abroad is to visit someone's house and hang out, poking into their cupboa...
LAURIE COLWIN

Cooking is like anything else: some people have an inborn talent for it. Some become expert by pract...
LAURIE COLWIN

It is my opinion that Norman Rockwell and his ilk have done more to make already anxious people feel...
LAURIE COLWIN

When it comes to cakes and puddings, savouries, bread and tea cakes, the English cannot be surpassed...
LAURIE COLWIN

I love to eat out, but even more, I love to eat in.
LAURIE COLWIN

Unlike some people who love to go out, I love to stay home.
LAURIE COLWIN

Somehow or other, I always end up in a kitchen feeding a crowd.
LAURIE COLWIN

Not everyone can write a book or paint a picture or write a symphony, but almost anyone can fall in ...
LAURIE COLWIN

It is not just the Great Works of mankind that make a culture. It is the daily things, like what peo...
LAURIE COLWIN

There is nothing like roast chicken. It is helpful and agreeable, the perfect dish no matter what th...
LAURIE COLWIN

Certainly, cooking for oneself reveals man at his weirdest.
LAURIE COLWIN

One of the delights of life is eating with friends; second to that is talking about eating. And, for...
LAURIE COLWIN

The fact is that modern life has deprived us of life's one great luxury: time.
LAURIE COLWIN

Provision as much pure and organic food as you can, and let the rest go by.
LAURIE COLWIN

I come from a coffee-loving family, and you can always tell when my sister and I have been around, b...
LAURIE COLWIN

Cooking is like love. You don't have to be particularly beautiful or very glamorous, or even ver...
LAURIE COLWIN

The sharing of food is the basis of social life.
LAURIE COLWIN

No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by gen...
LAURIE COLWIN

We know that without food we would die. Without fellowship, life is not worth living.
LAURIE COLWIN

We need time to defuse, to contemplate. Just as in sleep our brains relax and give us dreams, so at ...
LAURIE COLWIN

I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art, which the IRS once told me I had to declare...
LAURIE ANDERSON

I have been instrumental in banning bottled water on the set. It hasn't gone that well with the ...
HUGH LAURIE

Screenwriting is the most prized of all the cinematic arts. Actually, it isn't, but it should be...
HUGH LAURIE

I love working fictional characters into a piece of history. It plays to my strengths, which are cha...
LAURIE GRAHAM

Girls are complicated. The instruction manual that comes with girls is 800 pages, with chapters 14, ...
HUGH LAURIE

Almost every time I speak to teenagers, particularly young female students who want to talk to me ab...
LAURIE PENNY

I think there is a basic comfort in clever people who know things.
HUGH LAURIE

I think pain is a very - it's an extremely hard thing to empathize moment to moment. And you oft...
HUGH LAURIE

Sorry, I don't do castles. I hate those winding turret stairs.
LAURIE GRAHAM

When I was in art school, there was a stigma attached to coming from comfortable suburbia. If you we...
LAURIE SIMMONS

I was fascinated by the culture clash between England and America in the 1950s. My first memories ar...
LAURIE GRAHAM

In the Seventies, my children played in the street, read politically incorrect stories, ate home-coo...
LAURIE GRAHAM

Writers want to summarize: What does this mean? What did we learn from this? That's a very 19th-...
LAURIE ANDERSON

I'm an average enough person to point to the things I've gotten to see that are awe-inspirin...
LAURIE ANDERSON

Personally, my interest in social history ends around 1959, by which time I was an adolescent. I'...
LAURIE GRAHAM

Often confused with shyness, introversion does not imply social reticence or discomfort. Rather than...
LAURIE HELGOE

I never went to drama school, I don't have any certificates saying: 'He's a qualified ac...
HUGH LAURIE

Riding my motorcycle around L.A. is like my own video game. But unlike many folks at the wheel, I am...
HUGH LAURIE

Music is one of the noblest callings I can think of. It's the highest of all the art forms to me...
HUGH LAURIE

Believe me, when an actress is told that her very name is synonymous with bad acting, she's had ...
PIPER LAURIE

Driving a motorcycle is like flying. All your senses are alive. When I ride through Beverly Hills in...
HUGH LAURIE

We want different things. Men want to have sex with a woman. Then they want to have sex with another...
HUGH LAURIE

The sexual mechanisms of the two genders are just not compatible, that’s the horrible truth of it....
HUGH LAURIE

I have always stuck up for Western medicine. You can chew all the celery you want, but without antib...
HUGH LAURIE

My husband is leaving me. No dramas, no slammed doors - well, OK, a few slammed doors - and no suitc...
LAURIE GRAHAM

The glory of American television is Dennis Franz.
HUGH LAURIE

I think good-looking people seldom make good television. And American television studios almost conc...
HUGH LAURIE

My mother was a fastidious and orderly homemaker. I was the messy but creative type. I picture her f...
LAURIE GRAHAM

I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a dead...
LAURIE NOTARO

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.
LAURIE NOTARO

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to simply walk down the street. In New York, I dashed in t...
HUGH LAURIE

The ability to reflect is associated with critical thinking and reasoning ability. And the capacity ...
LAURIE HELGOE

When I was alone, I lived on eggplant, the stove top cook's strongest ally. I fried it and stewe...
LAURIE COLWIN

I don't have a single complete show or movie or anything else that I could look at and say, '...
HUGH LAURIE

Far more than dreading ending up in a care home myself, I dread having to put my husband in one.
LAURIE GRAHAM

Once, every woman owned a small mirrored compact, and it was considered normal - sophisticated even ...
LAURIE GRAHAM

With Alzheimer's, recent memory is affected first. At the start, you count the memory loss in da...
LAURIE GRAHAM

I've never minded solitude. For a writer, it's a natural condition. But caring for a dementi...
LAURIE GRAHAM

None of us wants to be reminded that dementia is random, relentless, and frighteningly common.
LAURIE GRAHAM

The terror dementia sufferers must feel is unimaginable, but the techniques they use to hide their d...
LAURIE GRAHAM

America is a noisy culture, unlike, say, Finland, which values silence. Individualism, dominant in t...
LAURIE HELGOE

Well I was out in my four door
With the top down.
And I looked up and there they were:
M...
LAURIE ANDERSON

They say that Heaven is like TV... a perfect little world, that doesn't really need you.
LAURIE ANDERSON

When love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justice is gone, there's always force.
A...
LAURIE ANDERSON

And there was a beautiful view
But nobody could see.
Cause everybody on the island
Was s...
LAURIE ANDERSON

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
LAURIE ANDERSON

And Sharkey says: Deep in the heart of darkest America. Home of the brave. He says: Listen to my hea...
LAURIE ANDERSON

You know, I can see two tiny pictures of myself And there's one in each of your eyes. And they're do...
LAURIE ANDERSON

….Nothing was inevitable. She had not chosen this way. It was her fate. It had been decided since ...
LAURIE MATTHEW

We're getting a lot of air miles, ... I'll go back when I can, and they'll come here when they can. ...
HUGH LAURIE

The fewer expectations you have, the better.
LAURIE ANDERSON

As one ages, eventually, no matter what regime you've followed, no matter how fiercely you'v...
LAURIE GRAHAM

I dropped the script in the fireplace, called my agent and said, they can jail me, sue me, but I'...
PIPER LAURIE

When someone speaks to an introvert, her brain responds with a high level of activity. It is as if s...
LAURIE HELGOE

It's a fun thing to do: Go to a shooting range with a buddy, knock off a few rounds, release str...
LAURIE HOLDEN

When I was a small boy, 10, 11, 12, probably somewhere around there, when I first heard a blues song...
HUGH LAURIE

I was horribly shy all through grade school and high school. But somehow I got up the nerve to audit...
LAURIE METCALF

I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can't go back. You cannot go back.
HUGH LAURIE

I speak pretty fluent American, though I do so with a strong British accent, and I love America: The...
LAURIE GRAHAM

Some people are drawn naturally - there are natural guitarists, and there are natural piano players,...
HUGH LAURIE

I expected to be shot at any moment and if they had done I would have understood, that they couldn&#...
LAURIE LEE

'Contagion' should serve as a wake-up call not only about the germs, but perhaps more import...
LAURIE GARRETT

I've been directed by other actors, and being an actor doesn't make you a good director.
LAURIE METCALF

The thing about praising beauty is that good looks are an unforgiving task- master, a Forth Bridge o...
LAURIE GRAHAM

The big issue would be if there was illegally obtained evidence. It could lead to motions for new tr...
LAURIE LEVENSON

I love ghost stories but I can't really watch them, especially not by myself because then I can&...
LAURIE HOLDEN

I'm just attracted to good material and great characters and that can come in any form, whether ...
LAURIE HOLDEN

Measures we can take to handle pandemic flu if it emerges in the next six months are limited and ble...
LAURIE GARRETT

It's not his physical gait that is transforming, ... It's the having one hand. It's being one-handed...
HUGH LAURIE

I personally believe that the iPod is a frankly corrosive device because it encourages you to surrou...
HUGH LAURIE

Introverts prefer introversion; we tend to gain energy by reflecting and expend energy when interact...
LAURIE HELGOE

And even then when you take it, you've got to take it with your whole heart.
PIPER LAURIE

One thing is certain. The old Piper Laurie is no more.
PIPER LAURIE

Instead of changing my name, I would change Piper Laurie. That was the beginning.
PIPER LAURIE

But then I became so disillusioned.... I had very little life experience and certainly no technique ...
PIPER LAURIE

Even the greatest poets, I think, cannot quite get to the places that music can get to in the human ...
HUGH LAURIE

She hit the ball well. Jennifer Hecht served well to keep her in the front row to get all those kill...
LAURIE GLASS

When forced to survive in an apocalyptic world, there are some characters that embrace their higher ...
LAURIE HOLDEN

I couldn't imagine what Fox thought they were doing, contemplating such a jagged protagonist for...
HUGH LAURIE

I've always jealously guarded my feminine mystique. I've been married twice, and neither of ...
LAURIE GRAHAM

I almost always use first person voice in my novels. It has its limitations, but it gives a sense of...
LAURIE GRAHAM

My profession is about as far away from growing up in southern Illinois as you can get.
LAURIE METCALF

Yoga increases body awareness, the body/mind connection. We live in such a cerebral world, yoga can ...
LAURIE SABOURIN

This may be my deficiency, but I don't think of him as great bastard at all.
HUGH LAURIE

He's a curmudgeon - even at his own premiere.
LAURIE DAVID

Courts don't want to invade the deliberative process. We favor finality, and we don't want to send a...
LAURIE LEVENSON

We've sweetened them up considerably. They have a lot more sugar and flavor in them than the traditi...
LAURIE STEED

When you serve well, everything else follows. Good serving sets the stage and everybody starts servi...
LAURIE NELSON

He's our first small dog. He's broadened my horizons, and I just want to broaden his. It's been an a...
LAURIE ALDRICH

Acting is largely about putting on masks, and music is about removing them.
HUGH LAURIE

The first big stars, Bessie Smith, Ma Rainey, you know, these were gigantic stars. I even wonder som...
HUGH LAURIE

Besides all those whaling details, Moby Dick is about someone who's looking for something so hug...
LAURIE ANDERSON

If your life, or the life of someone you love, is hanging in the balance, of course you would withst...
HUGH LAURIE

I feel like I'm working on an oil rig right now. I'm away from home a lot.
HUGH LAURIE

To drink a cup of tea and put two sugars in and open a door and answer a telephone becomes incredibl...
HUGH LAURIE

There's just sort of this assumption that whatever . . .the writers come up with,
HUGH LAURIE

The human psyche is a self-correcting mechanism.
LAURIE NADEL

The old days were slower. People buttered their bread without guilt and sat down to dinner en famill...
LAURIE COLWIN

No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by gen...
LAURIE COLWIN

You score three times inside the first 30 (minutes) and the bonus point is there for the grab. We ju...
LAURIE FISHER

Maine has the highest rate of childhood asthma in the country. The good news is that Maine is ahead ...
LAURIE STILLMAN

I'm not a bigot. I'm not a homophobe. I'm a conscientious parent.
LAURIE TAYLOR

I dropped the script in the fireplace, called my agent and said, they can jail me, sue me, but I'm n...
PIPER LAURIE

All civilizations at some time have fallen into this total terror, when the mystery of life was a ki...
LAURIE LEE

When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. A...
LAURIE ANDERSON

I was so flattered to be asked to be in the movies - the idea of being paid to act was heady stuff.
PIPER LAURIE

Unhappiness is an unfinished state; happy people don't need our help.
HUGH LAURIE

I was shown into a room. A red room. Red wallpaper, red curtains, red carpet. They said it was a sit...
HUGH LAURIE

Ideas are 10 a penny. It's the execution that's the hard thing to do. House is standing up a...
HUGH LAURIE

The system broke down. We have to ask hard questions.
LAURIE ZOLOTH

They, all of them, work incredibly hard to make me seem clever and heroic, neither of which I am.
HUGH LAURIE

People assume that I'm very highly trained, that I studied and did years and years of Shakespeare. I...
HUGH LAURIE

He was a very gentle soul and, I think, a very good doctor. And I'm probably being paid more to beco...
HUGH LAURIE

I am terribly conscious of the fact that the world doesn't need any more actors. There are so many b...
HUGH LAURIE

Plainly, if your life is hanging in the balance, the most important thing to you at that moment is g...
HUGH LAURIE

I have no problem with Matthew taking that deal, from the figures that I understand the ballpark to ...
LAURIE FISHER

If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance!
LAURIE STRONGIN

The constitutional presumption is for openness in the courts, but we have to ask whether we are real...
LAURIE LEVENSON

He draws defenders. He's got to learn to dish it off more, but with that pace he's a bit of firepowe...
LAURIE CALLOWAY

It's more than a slap in the face. It's shoving you in the mud and spitting on you. It's not just a ...
BILL LAURIE

I'm rather enjoying the whole process of reinvention, ... To be able to pretend to be something that...
HUGH LAURIE

"Cutting bangs are like thong underwear....an "adjustment" period of about two weeks is required bef...
LAURIE OSBURN

I'm reasonably easygoing. Messing up my lines or making a fool of myself is where you find my fe...
HUGH LAURIE

We don't want this issue hanging over our heads.
LAURIE ARRON

There's a real risk that this motion could succeed ... and we need to deal with it.
LAURIE ARRON

Basically, it's too close to call. I had a lot of surprises last night.
LAURIE ARRON

Ultimately, it's clear that it won't work to try and take away equal marriage.
LAURIE ARRON

Researchers will look at the OS level, as well as at mobile Web-browsing applications, in an effort ...
LAURIE ARMSTRONG

There's a lot going on. People are taking children into consideration and promoting families more.
LAURIE ARMSTRONG

He started doing walking tours that were hysterical and offered a lot of fascinating history. Now hi...
LAURIE ARMSTRONG

One of the things the hospitality industry offers is employment on every level. Whether someone just...
LAURIE ARMSTRONG

This center is dedicated to long-term research, looking at future innovations and concepts that will...
LAURIE ARMSTRONG

Songs and Stories from Moby Dick,
LAURIE ANDERSON

When you think of the Caribbean today, you think of clear blue warm water, ... Probably about 12 mil...
LAURIE ANDERSON

The promoter called and said, 'What should we do?' People were calling to say they were sure it was ...
LAURIE ANDERSON

My son already knows how to program my phone. I think technology is good. ... They are learning the ...
LAURIE ANDERSON

The world is a strange and wonderful place.
LAURIE ANDERSON

When I was a teenager, I dreamed abbout escaping. I was lucky. I succeeded.
LAURIE ANDERSON

I see that it has huge benefits for us understanding how and why diversity changes over time and how...
LAURIE ANDERSON

When love is gone, there's always justice. And when justice is gone, there's always force. And when ...
LAURIE ANDERSON

It's the presence of endorphins in the system that suppresses the cravings.
LAURIE PETERSON

He's such a good salesman that they didn't have a clue about what he was doing. I don't think prosec...
LAURIE LEVENSON

I'm just going to draw out three at random, and everyone else can just lump it.
HUGH LAURIE

Everyone else can just lump it.
HUGH LAURIE

All fruits do not ripen in one season.
LAURIE JUNOT

When the ship goes down, the waves very quickly roll over the top of it, and attention shifts elsewh...
HUGH LAURIE

Suddenly, however, the dastardly department of my personality presented two plans, one of which invo...
LAURIE NOTARO

I'm assuming you didn't just call me to come out of the closet to a blind woman'

'Oh, it's something I do everyday,' Kate said, enjoying Faith's sense of humor. 'I open up a phone book, randomly select a name, dial it, and when they answer, I proclaim I'm a lesbian and then hang up.

Laurie Salzler

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I'm assuming you didn't just call me to come out of the closet to a blind woman''Oh, it's something I do everyday,' Kate said, enjoying Faith's sense of humor. 'I open up a phone book, randomly select a name, dial it, and when they answer, I proclaim I'm a lesbian and then hang up.

Laurie Salzler

Share:

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More Laurie Salzler

I'm assuming you didn't just call me to come out of the closet to a blind woman'

'Oh, it's something I do everyday,' Kate said, enjoying Faith's sense of humor. 'I open up a phone book, randomly select a name, dial it, and when they answer, I proclaim I'm a lesbian and then hang up.