If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

The dream is happening right now. I'm here. That's all I wanted. It would be nice to get a medal of any color.

THE POOR AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "POVERTY" IS FILTH TO THE RICH AND THE SUBJECT CALLED "RICHES", BUT CLEANLINESS IS THE ONLY MARK OF ACCEPTANCE.

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.

Osaka: Ah always wanted to go to the ocean and rifd a dolphin.

Sakaki: ...That would be nice.

Osaka: Ah know, right?

(Osaka and Sakaki stare at the ocean lost in thought; Sakaki imagining riding a dolphin).

Yomi: Look at you two space cadets. What's going on?

Osaka: We was thinkin' 'bout 'Roids.

Sakaki: Eh... No... =,o