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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.


Jeff Foxworthy

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If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
JEFF FOXWORTHY Jeff Foxworthy Show.
BILL ENGVALL If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a ...
JEFF FOXWORTHY Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary: Words You Knew the Meaning Of
JEFF FOXWORTHY If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
JEFF FOXWORTHY What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
JEFF FOXWORTHY If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
JEFF FOXWORTHY If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a red...
JEFF FOXWORTHY You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how muc...
JEFF FOXWORTHY You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign ...
JEFF FOXWORTHY Long-time viewing of Internet violence tend to change a person's temperament, making the person pron...
YOU QUANXI If positive and healthy materials are absent, negative materials are sure to be dominant in the cybe...
YOU QUANXI In a robust global business environment, our business units operated well in the first quarter. More...
HARRY YOU The Board of Directors and I are pleased to recognize Peter's outstanding contribution to the succes...
HARRY YOU We are pleased to close the books on 2004 following the painstaking review of almost five years of f...
HARRY YOU People look at you, and they've got just the perfect little box for you, the perfect category. C...
TRAVIS TRITT If you've ever won a championship, then that's all you're interested in doing.
BILL PARCELLS Unfortunately, if you've ever been in southern Georgia on the beaches in a lightning storm, if y...
NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
JEFF FOXWORTHY You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
JEFF FOXWORTHY If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody.
BILL ENGVALL There's two possible outcomes: if the result confirms the hypothesis, then you've made a dis...
ENRICO FERMI You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
JEFF FOXWORTHY You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
JEFF FOXWORTHY There are two possible outcomes: if the result confirms the hypothesis, then you've made a measu...
ENRICO FERMI I don't think there's ever a point when you turn to yourself and go, 'Yes, I've made...
DOMINIC COOPER Like Dinah says, “We can only play the cards we’ve been dealt. It doesn’t do any good to wish ...
J.M. SULLIVAN If you've ever snapped a picture of your dinner, Nom is for you.
STEVE CHEN All the mistakes I've ever made in my life have been when I've been drunk. I haven't mad...
TRACEY EMIN Sincerity: if you can fake it, you've got it made.
DANIEL SCHORR I'm vain enough to think that I've made a successful life. I've had everything I've ...
JACK GILBERT To be honest, after you've crossed the line at the Olympic Games, it is bedlam for the next, abo...
VICTORIA PENDLETON If you could go back and change things, you might not be the person you are right now.
WALTER PAYTON If you change a lot of things at once, you can't be sure what made the difference.
GARY HANSON If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
GEORGE BURNS If you've ever seen the film In Which We Serve, but it was about a destroyer in the Mediterranea...
RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH And as an actor - or even as a person in the industry - if you're unwilling to change, you'r...
CLINT HOWARD If you've got Mystique as your girlfriend the fun you could have in bed - I've just imagined...
IAN MCKELLEN Democratic politicians have disliked things I've written, Republican politicians... if they all ...
ADAM CLYMER I think the key is that nothing's ever perfect and you've got to be able to go with change. ...
BEN SAVAGE You've got to do something with all the books you've read, so you might as well imagine you&...
NATASHA LYONNE You go through every single inch of the emotional spectrum on fight week. You're the most stress...
RONDA ROUSEY Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you ...
MAYA ANGELOU You've got to think lucky. If you fall into a mudhole, check your back pocket - you might have c...
DARRELL ROYAL When you talk about change, you know what makes it really tough for people is on the one hand you...
RUSH LIMBAUGH Sometimes the choices change the character. You might be a little more sensation-seeking, or you mig...
JEFF HALL I know it's a crock of shit. I ain't offering you happily-ever-after. I'm offering you... happily-ma...
WALLY LAMB I'm from West Virginia. If you didn't know what was happening in NASCAR, you were on the out...
RANDY MOSS What I've learned is that real change is very, very hard. But I've also learned that change ...
ELIZABETH WARREN If you're an impressionistic painter and you want to paint expressionism, you've got to chan...
TOBIN BELL If you've ever had a coworker actively interfere with your productivity, try to make you look ba...
ADAM GRANT Everything I've ever taught in terms of self-help boils down to this - I cannot believe people k...
MARTHA BECK Every job is different. I don't think that I've ever had that wonderful feeling when you'...
ALFRED MOLINA People find themselves in ruts all the time. You're in a complacent lifestyle where you work 9 t...
JEREMY RENNER If you've never had a mother or a father, you grow up seeking something you're never going t...
GLORIA VANDERBILT How to change the world:
• spread positivity
• bring people up instead of dragging the...
GERMANY KENT There's a generation of people who've made their own money and are among the most generous p...
IAN WACE If somebody says, 'Do you remember the first time you heard a Rolling Stones song?' if you s...
BRAD PAISLEY I would not admire hitting against Ryne Duren, because if he ever hit you in the head you might be i...
CASEY STENGEL If you get to the point in your career where you're running with a gun - I've yet to run wit...
DAVID COSTABILE Even if you've been involved in a World Cup, the Olympics is huge. Only the Games has the power ...
DALEY THOMPSON When you're rich and famous you are the dominant force in a relationship, even if you try hard n...
STEVIE NICKS If you've ever been around a group of actors, you've noticed, no doubt, that they can talk o...
CHRISTY MATHEWSON Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GEORGE BURNS You have to change things in order to get to where you want to go. And things might get worse. But i...
ALBERTO SALAZAR I've got a chance to host a show called 'Redneck Island' on CMT. I love doing that show.
STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN If you want to stay in the business then you've got to be a bit shrewd, haven't you?
KATIE PRICE Ever since I was a child I've always been very attracted to melodies. Whether I hear Jeff Beck, ...
CARLOS SANTANA It's always best to ask for forgiveness if you feel that you made a mistake. And again, asking f...
GRACE POE If you ever go to Temple Square in Salt Lake City, if you stay there long enough, you'll see a h...
TREY PARKER Art, a book, a painting, a song, can definitely inspire change, whether it's a small change or a...
ROSE BYRNE I was stupid when I started: the epitome of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. It was like, 'I get to...
AL JOURGENSEN If you've ever questioned your faith, you're going to question it when you are burying your ...
MATT BEVIN Being a father helps me be more responsible... you see more things than you've ever seen.
KID ROCK If you don't like a contract you made, you change it, you don't break it.
JACQUE WHITSITT You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them....
MAYA ANGELOU You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them....
MAYA ANGELOU I don't think you'll ever be happy about anything unless you've done it.
GARY BARLOW If you start with the assumption that people go to church to steal from the offering plate, you'd ma...
ANDY HERNANDEZ If you don't have any fight in you, you might as well be dead.
SCOTT CAAN Every 20 minutes you've got to have a bump, you've got to have a change in course, you'v...
BARBARA BROCCOLI The first question she was asked was What do you do? as if that were enough to define you. Nobody ev...
JODI PICOULT If you lock me in the room with a piano teacher for a year I might be able to knock out a rendition ...
ALAN SUGAR If you want to be a singer, you've got to concentrate on it twenty-four hours a day. You can'...
OTIS REDDING There is no pathway for female GB road cyclists, but at the same time, if you are wanting to be the ...
LIZZIE ARMITSTEAD Ever since I've been young I've been fascinated by the human body. I've written songs ab...
ELLIE GOULDING You know you've made it when you've been moulded in miniature plastic. But you know what chi...
CATE BLANCHETT You know you've made your mark when you're on the cover of a videogame.
GAINES ADAMS And, of course, they've always condemned dancing. You know, you might touch a member of the oppo...
FRANK MCCOURT Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, cancelled, made nothing? Are you willing to be made nothi...
WAYNE W. DYER The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Let me tell you, sisters, seeing dried egg on a plate in the morning is a lot dirtier than anything ...
ANN RICHARDS When you invoke the agent of change called acceptance, you must accept all that you are, all that yo...
DEBBIE FORD I think I came up in fighting in a really technical way. If you've ever seen my fights, you know...
GINA CARANO Change is hard, really, really hard. But once you feel the benefit of even the tiniest change you ha...
CHERYL RUSHTON Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you'v...
ELBERT HUBBARD If you don't ever stop singing, your voice stays in shape. It's like the marathon runner. Yo...
SAMMY HAGAR Being in all of my relationships, I'm even more confused than I've ever been, I don't kn...
JAMIE KENNEDY If your watch is slow by just four minutes, that's not much - unless you've been warned that...
ZIG ZIGLAR You've got a big, big problem if you get caught up in what people say. If you're gonna live ...
AHMAD JAMAL

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JEFF GOLDBLUM The human brain is an incredible pattern-matching machine.
JEFF BEZOS All flowers in time bend towards the sun, I know you say there's no one for you, But here is one...
JEFF BUCKLEY I don't really need to be remembered. I hope the music's remembered.
JEFF BUCKLEY Legislation is the only lasting solution for the men and women brought to this country through no fa...
JEFF DENHAM Decades of scientific research has proven that carbon pollution is harmful to human health and cause...
JEFF MERKLEY Great industries are never made from single companies. There is room in space for a lot of winners.
JEFF BEZOS I'm skeptical of any mission that has advertisers at its centerpiece.
JEFF BEZOS The perception of Donald Trump in capitals around the world is shaped, in many ways, by CNN. Continu...
JEFF ZUCKER The best customer service is if the customer doesn't need to call you, doesn't need to talk ...
JEFF BEZOS I've never run into a person who yearns for their middle school days.
JEFF KINNEY In reality, studies show that investments to spur renewable energy and boost energy efficiency gener...
JEFF GOODELL Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there...
JEFF DUNHAM I'm often loose with my tongue. I may have said something about the NAACP being un-American or C...
JEFF SESSIONS I've always been at the intersection of computers and whatever they can revolutionize.
JEFF BEZOS A brand for a company is like a reputation for a person. You earn reputation by trying to do hard th...
JEFF BEZOS I belong to the political party that generally fits my philosophical beliefs, but I reserve the righ...
JEFF FORTENBERRY The House of Representatives should not be locked down by the decided play of a few in leadership.
JEFF FORTENBERRY Being myself is what got me to where I am.
JEFF HARDY The willingness of America's veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting g...
JEFF MILLER I think fear is what keeps us from going over the edge. I mean, as a race car driver, I don't th...
JEFF GORDON What we need to do is always lean into the future; when the world changes around you and when it cha...
JEFF BEZOS