If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

People copy, people steal. Most of the pictures they make nowadays are loaded down with special effects. I couldn't do that. I quit smoking because I couldn't reload my Zippo . . .

I'm going to tell you what my religion is. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Period. Terminato. Finito.

Making movies is a little like walking into a dark room. Some people stumble across furniture, others break their legs, but some of us see better in the dark than others. The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.

I just always think, "Do I like it?" And if I like it, maybe other people will come and like it too.

The best director is the one you don't see.