If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see... We have about six television sets in our house, and it's less expensive for me to do a television series than it is for me to throw them all out.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.