If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.

Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.

Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.