If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved.

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.

A lady is nothing very specific. One man's lady is another man's woman; sometimes, one man's lady is another man's wife. Definitions overlap but they almost never coincide.

It is always well to accept your own shortcomings with candor but to regard those of your friends with polite incredulity.

The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can't ignore it, top it; if you can't top it, laugh at it; if you can't laugh at it, it's probably deserved.

The true snob never rests: there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon.