If the apocalypse comes...beep me!

He's like Super Librarian, y'know? Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon.

If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion, was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock . . .

Back in my day, which was about a week and a half ago, we took our lumps and we got back up and we cried like babies and quit and then put on weight.

Tonight sucks. And look at me. Look at - look at stupid Buffy. Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end. And the only person that I can even stand to be around is a... neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.

The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different.