If someone thinks I'm posh, it just shows how lowly they are. Some people think I went to Eton. I'm far too stupid to get into Eton.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

A woman is supposed to have curves like an old Bentley, not like some old bike.

What amazes me is how far some people will go to justify their behavior to themselves, just to preserve that self-perception.

Think of how many boring, blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretion of me.

I think stupid people are surprised that I'm Australian. It's a small-minded; we live in a global community, but I suppose some people still are small-minded.