If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

I have feelings too - like 'My stomach hurts' or 'I'm going crazy!'

Homer no function beer well without.

Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?

Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders