Anonymous quote: "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profiteth me nothing."

Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
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You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
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Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
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Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
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May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
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Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
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Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
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Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
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Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
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Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
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Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
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It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
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He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
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All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
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A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
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Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
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Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
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Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
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The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
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Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
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An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
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Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
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Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
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Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
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Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
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Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
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Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
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Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
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Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
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A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
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Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
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She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
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many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
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Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
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When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
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It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
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Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
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Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
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Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
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Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
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Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
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Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
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Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
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Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
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Happiness is not given but exchanged.
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Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
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If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
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Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
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So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
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Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
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Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
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Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
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Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
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Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
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To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
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My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
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The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
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Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
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Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
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When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
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The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
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Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
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Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
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Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
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I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
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تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
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The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
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Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
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And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
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Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
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I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
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Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
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Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
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If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
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Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
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I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
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If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
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Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
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It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
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One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
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The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
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In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
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How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
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For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
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Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
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I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
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Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
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If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
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The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
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Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
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Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
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Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
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Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
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My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
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Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
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Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it.
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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
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When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
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Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
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I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
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Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
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Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
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Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
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Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
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I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
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My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
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Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
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I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
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People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
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I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
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Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
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Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
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He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
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I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
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Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
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Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
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It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
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Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
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Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
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Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
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I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
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How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
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My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
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Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
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I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
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There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
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I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
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How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
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Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
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Smile while you still have teeth.
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Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
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After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
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Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
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I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
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I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
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True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
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Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
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Never judge a book by it's movie
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I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
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When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
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Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
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If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
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My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
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I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
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Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
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I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
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Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
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Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
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Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
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I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
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Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
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Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
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I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
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The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
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I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
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The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
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Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
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I can't wait for that to never happen.
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I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
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Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
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Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
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Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
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I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
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Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
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Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
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An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
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My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
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Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
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You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
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Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
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It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
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If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
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Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
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