If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

Old age ain't no place for sissies.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.

Love thy neighbor -- and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.