If I can hit No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, I'm thinking of having the entire list tattooed on my body somewhere. It would be fabulous.

I never set out to do this - getting to No. 1 in the 'New York Times' bestseller list wasn't even a pipedream.

The Internet’s impact on the economy has been no greater than the fax machine’s….ten years from now, the phrase “information economy” will sound silly. (1997)

I think everything should be in verse. 'The New York Times' should be in verse.

Meantime the Newspaper of Record goes around in a little pleated skirt shaking pompoms, leaping in the air with an idiot grin if so much as a cement mixer passes by.

You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.