If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

Love is my favorite drug; I overdose on it regularly.

Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too.