If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is NOT for you. (BUMPER STICKER)

if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane(T-Shirt)

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)

Somebody has to be sane during regular business hours, and it's not going to be me, missy.

Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.