Idiots annoy me.” Mackenzie holds up the jar again, and in goes another dollar. The jar? It was invented by my sister, who apparently thinks my language is too harsh for her offspring. It’s the Bad Word Jar. Every time someone—usually me—swears, they have to pay a dollar. At this rate, that thing is going to put Mackenzie through college.

Un caballero en armadura deslustrada sigue siendo un caballero.

I’m well aware that this—that I—am the first man to ever do this to her. And yes, as a guy, that
fact makes it even better.
You know who Neil Armstrong is, don’t you?
Now tell me who the second guy was. Hell, tell me any other guy you know who made it to the
moon after him. You can’t, can you? That’s why this is such a rush.
She’ll never forget this.
She’ll always remember…me.
Maybe that’s chauvinistic and egotistical, but it’s the truth.

-Drew Evans

She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who’s only holding Cinderella back.”

"That’s my girl.

You can’t get a reaction from someone who doesn’t give a shit.

You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?

Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.