I'd definitely found my equal, the woman who made my life a living hell and lived to antagonize me. A woman whose mouth I wanted to tape shut...every bit as much as I wanted to kiss it.

This is how we reveal ourselves: these tiny flashes of discomfort, the reactions we can’t hide.

There are moments in life where I wonder whether things can get worse. I'm on a plane, with my new husband, whose enthusiasm for this whole thing seems to be flagging, and it's in this deep moment of self-pity that I register–with absolute horror–that I've also just started my period.

I look down at my white jeans and stifle a sob...

You have very Grace Kelly-like tendencies about you. I hear Grace Kelly had a filthy mouth too," he added.

"You love my filthy mouth."

"True. But I like it better when its full," he said, meaningful smirk in place.

"You know, if you would shut up once in a while you'd be damn near perfect."

"But I'd be a silent panty ripper, which I think is a lot creepier than the angry-boss panty ripper.

Women don't always want to be treated like we're delicate, or rare, or somehow more precious. We want to be wanted. We want sex to be just as raw as you do.

The look in her eyes told me that under any other circumstances, I would either already be naked with her on top of me, or lying in a pool of my own blood on the rug.