I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.
Jeff Dunham
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES What's important is the people who have come on the march. We have built relationships with Muslims,... TONY BENN Religion serves all of us; men, women, gays, straights, blacks, whites, Americans and Indians. If it... M.F. MOONZAJER I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON This is my chance to get out there and appease the fans of my music as well as show people that I do... NICK CANNON One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I'm a comedian, which I'm not. A comedian... EUGENE LEVY The first purpose of comedy is to make people laugh. Anything deeper is a bonus. Some comedians want... TREVOR NOAH Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. The true Islam has shown me that a blanket indictment of all white people is as wrong as when whites... MALCOLM X Civilized people - Muslims, Christians and Jews - all understand that the source of freedom and huma... JOHN ASHCROFT It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ... ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker. ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes. ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment. ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.' ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha... ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person. ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me... ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au... ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about. ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media. ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive. ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ... ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken. ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows. ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real... ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha... ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don... ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one. ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs. KING JAMES I My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them... MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina... WALLIS SIMPSON PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea... WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w... WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave. WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me. WALLIS SIMPSON A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe... WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain. WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance. WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers. WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat. WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting. WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin. WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. KING SOLOMON It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most... FREDERICK THE GREAT Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All... KATE MIDDLETON There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all. MARIE ANTOINETTE I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It... QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman. KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse. CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister. KATE MIDDLETON It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;... MARIE ANTOINETTE I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble. AUGUSTUS A crown is merely a hat that lets the rain in. FREDERICK THE GREAT
More Jeff Dunham
We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Han... JEFF DUNHAM I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see... JEFF DUNHAM Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there... JEFF DUNHAM I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots. JEFF DUNHAM My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto t... JEFF DUNHAM All through college, I was searching for characters that would make me unique and set me apart from ... JEFF DUNHAM In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on 'The Tonight Show' with Joh... JEFF DUNHAM The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until ... JEFF DUNHAM I think there's a lot of, unfortunately, unfunny ventriloquists out there, so they've got a ... JEFF DUNHAM Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I le... JEFF DUNHAM It's strange because even in the vaudeville days, ventriloquists were never the main attraction.... JEFF DUNHAM I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. T... JEFF DUNHAM Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpe... JEFF DUNHAM When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and... JEFF DUNHAM A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things. JEFF DUNHAM I'm guilty of being fascinated by gadgets and toys and technology, but any penny that I spend, I... JEFF DUNHAM It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with.... JEFF DUNHAM What I do for a living is whimsical and fun and ridiculous. I'm supposed to make people laugh. W... JEFF DUNHAM I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on tha... JEFF DUNHAM I taught myself computer. Then Macintosh came along, and it became a really bad addiction. If I wasn... JEFF DUNHAM I've never been truly hammered... Never. Not even in college. I was too busy driving or flying a... JEFF DUNHAM I'm a pretty good ventriloquist, but it's the entertainment value and the laughs that keep p... JEFF DUNHAM The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life an... JEFF DUNHAM I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to... JEFF DUNHAM When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an ente... JEFF DUNHAM But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue,... JEFF DUNHAM As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark. JEFF DUNHAM The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns... JEFF DUNHAM Jeff: I understand you guys had a good day today? Peanut: Yes we had a great day! Jose: No... JEFF DUNHAM We've gotten so used to them making the playoffs, to not even come close was a disappointment. But I... JEFF DUNHAM I'm happy to see them doing well. I'm encouraged, and you don't really pull together as a team until... JEFF DUNHAM It will be less of a retail center and have more of a downtown, urban feel. JEFF DUNHAM Winter's not over yet. I'm sorry. We're just at the end of February here. ALAN DUNHAM The last time we were above freezing was actually, it looks like probably Saturday afternoon at some... ALAN DUNHAM We're not going to get out of the 20s again today. ALAN DUNHAM Low this morning was 10, but it felt a lot colder than that. Wind chills were a little below zero. ALAN DUNHAM Boston and south will have the worst of the storm. Travel will be hazardous because of icy condition... ALAN DUNHAM The 85 mph wind, that's hurricane force. ALAN DUNHAM It will be mostly cloudy in the upper 30s, pretty nice weather. ALAN DUNHAM There will be a lot of rain and sleet mixed in. ALAN DUNHAM I quit acting when I was 11 because I was cast as a bouncing ball in 'Alice in Wonderland,' ... LENA DUNHAM Efficiency is intelligent laziness. DAVID DUNHAM If you dance, you dance because you have to. Every dancer hurts, you know. KATHERINE DUNHAM We have a group of friends of the museum who try to raise, if they can, periodically something to he... KATHERINE DUNHAM Black people should have recognition for themselves and their backgrounds and their relationships wi... KATHERINE DUNHAM I really think that aside from admiring my talent you really admire me as a person and as a woman. KATHERINE DUNHAM I have actually five honorary degrees. KATHERINE DUNHAM When I graduated college I had a series of just humiliating jobs that I couldn't believe I was a... LENA DUNHAM Without my husband's costumes I wouldn't have known how to accomplish what I saw in my own m... KATHERINE DUNHAM I had certain physical limitations that made me change the choreography for myself or made me more i... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's very easy for me to say what success is. I think success is connecting with an audience who... LENA DUNHAM Haiti itself was also photographed, some of the streets, some of the mountains, rivers, streams, etc... KATHERINE DUNHAM When you want to organize knowledge. you will be careful to base the classification upon essential q... BARROWS DUNHAM Positive, healthy, loving relationships in your twenties... I don't know if anyone would disagre... LENA DUNHAM We don't intend to always keep this necessarily African oriented. Originally I had hoped to have... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's interesting how we often can't see the ways in which we are being strong - like, you ca... LENA DUNHAM I'm ridiculous in my oversharing; my mom and sister are very open but a little more judicious th... LENA DUNHAM A creative person has to create. It doesn't really matter what you create. If such a dancer want... KATHERINE DUNHAM I don't think Ed Sullivan had anything to do with Carib Song. KATHERINE DUNHAM I love flawed female characters, duking it out. LENA DUNHAM I feel like you don't know if someone's equipped for a romantic relationship until they'... LENA DUNHAM I sort of tend to equate tattoos with prisoners, punks or people with a high level of self-confidenc... LENA DUNHAM I certainly feel my career was a great career because it inspired so many many people, literally hun... KATHERINE DUNHAM I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. LENA DUNHAM Gerber's just an awesome player. I give her props for being this tall and she can see the floor so w... MARIAH DUNHAM Pay for one commercial package and add one or more free programs. Set the primary package to scan al... KEN DUNHAM A lot of the problem is a matter of us believing in ourselves. Everybody has an excuse in the beginn... DAVID DUNHAM I felt a little twinge in the groin. I tried playing with it to see if the groin would loosen up, an... MIKE DUNHAM Sometimes I have given my husband a manuscript to read that has turned out to have fantastic rave re... KATHERINE DUNHAM I really believe engagement is a way to solve international problems, through dialogue and discussio... ARCHIE DUNHAM The Western oil companies have really been kept out of Saudi Arabia for many, many years, and I thin... ARCHIE DUNHAM I think clearly, Gov. Bush would be much more pro business. ARCHIE DUNHAM When it's low-budget, and you have one other person on the set, you have to make rules. LENA DUNHAM They're bloodsucking mosquitoes. You just can't get them all. KEN DUNHAM I learned that people are much more game to mock their own personas than you would think. LENA DUNHAM I always imagined that having a baby is something that I'm going to keep in a private place, but... LENA DUNHAM Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out. KATHERINE DUNHAM I take the position that, because of the ex post facto clause, in essence, my client is being held f... DARRELL DUNHAM But Saudi Arabia and Kuwait offer, I think, the best opportunities in the gas sector. ARCHIE DUNHAM I mean, I - it's so funny, I am, you know, I am, you know, a working woman out in the world, but... LENA DUNHAM I think that people in the phase between being someone's kid and being someone's parent have... LENA DUNHAM The way I saw it, I was fully capable of being treated with indifference that bordered on disdain wh... LENA DUNHAM This could serve as a springboard for more attacks on the Macintosh because it might spawn copycats. KEN DUNHAM in particular among his siblings. FRANK DUNHAM You should boot from a clean disk before removing a virus. Some viruses can't be cleaned any other w... KEN DUNHAM We put a lot of extra runners on base. Then we had some untimely errors and they had timely hitting. DAVE DUNHAM I used to want the words "She tried" on my tombstone. Now I want "She did it." KATHERINE DUNHAM I wasn't concerned about the hardships, because I always felt I was doing what I had to do, what I w... KATHERINE DUNHAM The evil is not that you cannot change human nature. The evil is that human nature cannot change you... BARROWS DUNHAM A summary witness is ordinarily a dispassionate presenter, FRANK DUNHAM Here's what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every f... LENA DUNHAM She has never listened to Deepak Chopra, switched to almond milk, or meditated. Yet she is here, in ... LENA DUNHAM I am happy to know that my husband regards me as a woman and a person. KATHERINE DUNHAM I refresh Twitter as thoughtlessly as some twirl their hair. LENA DUNHAM I'm half Jewish half WASP. LENA DUNHAM I am not a particularly political person, but, as a Tribeca resident, the commodification of Septemb... LENA DUNHAM I sometimes want to make a book of every tattoo I wanted to get before I actually got a tattoo, beca... LENA DUNHAM We don't get it, but we get sanctions. It doesn't really matter where that witness is if there is a ... FRANK DUNHAM Let's call a spade a spade - a lot of times when you are a vegetarian it is a just not very effe... LENA DUNHAM I have only touched one other computer at my friend Marissa's house, and found the experience discon... LENA DUNHAM There is something vulnerable about showing your tattoos to people, even while it gives you a feelin... LENA DUNHAM She played a great defensive game. We all played great defense, it was our best defensive game of th... DAVE DUNHAM It was sloppy and we were rusty. Four of our girls just came off the basketball team and we're not q... DAVE DUNHAM I think this is good law. At some point in time, we have to say to defendants that if the statute of... DARRELL DUNHAM I think since the date of his arrest, my client has been held illegally. I think his constitutional ... DARRELL DUNHAM I used to want the words 'She tried' on my tombstone. Now I want 'She did it.' KATHERINE DUNHAM I always thought the saddest feeling in life is when you're dancing in a really joyful way and t... LENA DUNHAM There is a food fight going on there in the Executive Branch, I am sure. FRANK DUNHAM Obviously I'd like the man released. I think they [the government] probably concluded some time ago ... FRANK DUNHAM Whoop-dee-ding! They did the right thing. The court had to stand up for Hamdi. It's about all of us.... FRANK DUNHAM We don't even know if a guilty plea is going to be accepted by the judge on Friday. FRANK DUNHAM We could have people locked up all over the country tomorrow. The government saying 'trust us' is no... FRANK DUNHAM We have never authorized detention of a citizen in this county without giving him an opportunity to ... FRANK DUNHAM somewhat of a surprise, but not a total surprise. FRANK DUNHAM All adventurous women do. LENA DUNHAM Let's be reasonable and add an eighth day to the week that is devoted exclusively to reading. LENA DUNHAM There's just way too much excess going on in our country. People throw things away and don't appreci... LAURA DUNHAM I think the year anniversary kind of puts an end to that period of time when the mourning is over. LAURA DUNHAM The ocean can give life and easily take life. It was important for me, personally, to have some clos... LAURA DUNHAM You know, this isn't theatre like it used to be. KATHERINE DUNHAM Frequently producers have partners that they never let the public know about. KATHERINE DUNHAM Aside from a few master teachers that we have had over the years, this has been a completely local t... KATHERINE DUNHAM We had maybe the greatest success of any company that I know of in Paris, and after two or three yea... KATHERINE DUNHAM For the kind of thing that we were showing, the budget was sufficient. As we were speaking of in Hai... KATHERINE DUNHAM Don't think you are going to go on forever because you are not and begin to plan something that ... KATHERINE DUNHAM So many dancers paint. I used to paint. I started again recently. While I was dancing, I was very bu... KATHERINE DUNHAM I could never live a nonproductive life and I feel that I have lived a productive life as far as I w... KATHERINE DUNHAM My work has been much more Caribbean and eclectic. I am interested in people, and where they come fr... KATHERINE DUNHAM The older I grow the more I see the influence of my family on my life. I didn't always see it. I... KATHERINE DUNHAM The best career advice given to the young is: 'Find out what you like doing best and get someone to ... KATHERINE DUNHAM It's hard for a girl that short to see the floor as well as she does. Maybe she is small, but her pa... MARIAH DUNHAM We were trying to get offense going but we couldn't get anything going. We started going poor on our... MARIAH DUNHAM Women saying, 'I'm not a feminist' is my greatest pet peeve. Do you believe that women should be pai... LENA DUNHAM Every time I start feeling sexy I trip. LENA DUNHAM It strikes me as a sound, honest statement for a prospective voter to say: 'Look, I haven't ... JEFF GREENFIELD I do believe we have voter fraud in America. JEFF SESSIONS Where I grew up, I could be a punk rocker and a jock. But in college, it became apparent that those ... JEFF AMENT I cherish my privacy, and woe betide anyone who tries to interfere with that. JEFF BECK Richard Donner's friendship and guidance showed me that there's more to life than being an a... JEFF COHEN That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. JEFF FOXWORTHY Market leadership can translate directly to higher revenue, higher profitability, greater capital ve... JEFF BEZOS We expect all our businesses to have a positive impact on our top and bottom lines. Profitability is... JEFF BEZOS If you're competitor-focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Bein... JEFF BEZOS It's not an experiment if you know it's going to work. JEFF BEZOS Life's too short to hang out with people who aren't resourceful. JEFF BEZOS What's dangerous is not to evolve. JEFF BEZOS I write for kids because I think the most interesting (and most humorous) stories come from people... JEFF KINNEY People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People ... JEFF ROSS If you can't tolerate critics, don't do anything new or interesting. JEFF BEZOS Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it? JEFF FOXWORTHY 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' is my first book, and it's the fulfillment of a life-long dream. ... JEFF KINNEY I know Elon, we're very like minded in many ways. We're not conceptual twins. One thing I wa... JEFF BEZOS Tyria's a big world. We get a grand tour in 'Ghosts of Ascalon.' We're in Divinity... JEFF GRUBB When the blood of thousands of Americans is shed, the impact lingers. For a generation after the Civ... JEFF GREENFIELD You obviously don't really forget how to play the old songs; you just don't have to spend so... JEFF TWEEDY I think frugality drives innovation, just like other constraints do. One of the only ways to get out... JEFF BEZOS Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cy... JEFF BRIDGES It's not about finding relevance or perfection or imperfection in objects, but it's that you... JEFF KOONS There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even ... JEFF BRIDGES The beauty of the Internet is that anybody can be a broadcaster now. JEFF ZUCKER When I was growing up, my house was filled with books. My mother was an educator, and my father was ... JEFF KINNEY Some states like Nebraska have thus far responsibly managed their budgets, even in tough times, and ... JEFF FORTENBERRY Puberty was the main culprit in ending my acting career. I went from being kind of this chunky littl... JEFF COHEN The Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the gover... JEFF DUNCAN While the Census Bureau already has a legal obligation to keep people's information confidential... JEFF DUNCAN Monkeys can't talk, stupid! JEFF KINNEY What Richard and Mildred Loving did was, by their nature, not by any calculus, they separated themse... JEFF NICHOLS I think Vice is vastly overrated. And I think that if you are interested in reaching young males, wh... JEFF ZUCKER Why - because as a oil and gas small business owner - I know if someone is not doing their job, they... JEFF LANDRY Protestations of indifference to higher office are hard to take seriously when the 'non-candidat... JEFF GREENFIELD One of the pillars of backward thinking in America is the idea that you can have jobs or you can hav... JEFF GOODELL I'm actually the son of Mary Guibert. My mother was born in the Panama Canal zone and came to Am... JEFF BUCKLEY I certainly try to avoid getting bogged down in forensics. There is certainly a whole lot of other w... JEFF LINDSAY I love the ocean. Boats, not so much. JEFF GOLDBLUM You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remem... JEFF FOXWORTHY Sensitivity isn't being wimpy. It's about being so painfully aware that a flea landing on a ... JEFF BUCKLEY It is very difficult to get people to focus on the most important things when you're in boom tim... JEFF BEZOS Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if y... JEFF FOXWORTHY People can transcend and overcome their differences and be very easily bonded. JEFF FORTENBERRY If I'm on form and I'm not being bothered too much by mental problems or whatever, I can whi... JEFF BECK It's not a born-again thing; it was a peaceful, really, really cool moment where I just felt tha... JEFF FISHER For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a ver... JEFF LINDSAY There is no such thing as political science, but there are tenancies so strong that they might as we... JEFF GREENFIELD Stop trying to treat music like it's a tennis shoe, something to be branded. If the music indust... JEFF TWEEDY For special wrestlers, there's somewhere else to go - as long as you're not brainwashed by t... JEFF HARDY From the industry's point of view, the problem is not that coal companies blast the top off moun... JEFF GOODELL I'm lying in my bed, blanket is warm, this body will never keep me safe from harm. I still feel ... JEFF BUCKLEY I am not going to approve the home-screening format for my film just carte blanche in lieu of a thea... JEFF NICHOLS Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this w... JEFF MACNELLY I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create. I am not a racist. I am not insensiti... JEFF SESSIONS I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did. JEFF FOXWORTHY Some of these people need ten years of therapy --ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of the... JEFF ZASLOW But there is a limit to thinking about even a small piece of something monumental. You still see the... JEFF VANDERMEER I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better th... JEFF LINDSAY You can't do everything but you can do something! JEFF DIXON Acting is nothing more or less than playing. The idea is to humanize life. JEFF GOLDBLUM Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. JEFF VALDEZ Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. JEFF PESIS Two monologues do not make a dialogue. JEFF DALY Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions... so find out how to light their fires. JEFF DEWAR