I've decided to pick my moment to retire very carefully - in about 200 years time.

The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.

That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that.

If you want to stay young-looking, pick your parents very carefully.

When I decided to retire, I decided I couldn't stand it if I went out a loser,

Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.