I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.