More Bill Burr

I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, b...
BILL BURR

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't jus...
BILL BURR

I gotta be honest with you. I'm kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometim...
BILL BURR

They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, becau...
BILL BURR

Did you ever spell a word so bad that your spell check has absolutely no clue what you're trying...
BILL BURR

I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I'v...
BILL BURR

Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It's not like Stonehenge which looks great in books ...
BILL BURR

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to ...
BILL BURR

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you do...
BILL BURR

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.
BILL BURR

It's not until you're an adult you appreciate how awesome a dog is. Your dreams start dying, somebod...
BILL BURR

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to...
BILL BURR

You start in bars and then restaurants, then you want to get into comedy clubs where you feature, th...
BILL BURR

I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if ...
BILL BURR

Rich people never go to war. You ask a college kid to go to war, and he's like, 'Umm, I'...
BILL BURR

I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place...
BILL BURR

Like most comics, I tried to come up with a sitcom idea that was based around my life. And it didn&#...
BILL BURR

I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, a...
BILL BURR

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get t...
BILL BURR

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you...
BILL BURR

Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what...
BILL BURR

Podcasting is great. Total freedom.
BILL BURR

My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I don't like it is...
BILL BURR

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.
BILL BURR

My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it w...
BILL BURR

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can'...
BILL BURR

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place...
BILL BURR

I like finding stuff that I suck at and trying to get better. So I'm taking classes, getting mys...
BILL BURR

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I ju...
BILL BURR

Never do today what you can do tomorrow. Something may occur to make you regret your premature actio...
AARON BURR

Never do today what you can as well do tomorrow, because something may occur to make you regret your...
AARON BURR

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best ...
AARON BURR

Go West, young man.
AARON BURR I grew up near the sea in British Columbia and San Francisco, and lived in Malibu and Fiji for years...
RAYMOND BURR

Metaphor is the currency of knowledge. I have spent my life learning incredible amounts of disparate...
CHANDLER BURR

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best t...
AARON BURR

The rule of my life is to make business a pleasure, and pleasure my business.
AARON BURR

The rule of my life is to make business a pleasure, and pleasure my business.
AARON BURR By the time we start in November, we're in mid-season form. My freshman year, we didn't do any of th...
ANDI BURR If any team is going to do it, it's our team. We play hard together, we get along and we have great ...
ANDI BURR We don't want it to be that way, it just sort of happens. I think we have it in us to play like that...
ANDI BURR We want a winning record. That's never been done here before and I think we're definitely going to d...
ANDI BURR I am an unmarried man, as opposed to a single man. A bachelor, according to the dictionary, is a man...
RAYMOND BURR I don't overeat. I only eat one meal a day... but my body has been one of those that has almost ...
RAYMOND BURR We often take for granted that our lights will come on when we flip the light switch, but the realit...
RICHARD BURR Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.
AMELIA BURR It is critical that we have a comprehensive energy plan to provide affordable and reliable supplies ...
RICHARD BURR People here always said to me, 'Why would you leave civilization to go to a place like Fiji?'...
RAYMOND BURR I once had a long relationship with a lady, and wherever I went in the world, if I saw something she...
RAYMOND BURR When we started 'Perry Mason,' we thought it might go a year.
RAYMOND BURR I only hope that I can regain my own identity once I decide that 'Perry Mason' and myself ha...
RAYMOND BURR He was the worst farmer of anyone I ever knew.
BURR UDALL Congress must not do something just for the sake of doing something. We must carefully and thoughtfu...
RICHARD BURR The inconveniences we faced within this state are minor compared to ... New Orleans.
RICHARD BURR The terror attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, changed the way we think about security.
RICHARD BURR Although we must change the ways we protect our country, we must also guard against policies that ap...
RICHARD BURR In the United States Senate, we cannot do great things without reaching across the aisle and working...
RICHARD BURR There is a challenge in North Carolina ... to some of the most rural areas trying to piece together ...
RICHARD BURR

Never put off for tomorrow, what you can do today.
AARON BURR It was a lot of fun.
MATT BURR We used clay from here in New Mexico and used engineering principals to design a mug that could surv...
MATT BURR They are the difference between (local) care and going for a lengthy drive, ... The challenge is how...
RICHARD BURR That’s what nobody admits about men, how needy they are.
DAVID BURR GERRARD Subtle! Subtlety is bourgeois. Brecht us that when he popped drama’s cherry. He fucked drama until...
DAVID BURR GERRARD You led our sons across the haunted flood, Into the Canaan of their high desire-- No milk and ...
AMELIA JOSEPHINE BURR It’s something of a cliché, at least among war correspondents, that war makes people unusually ho...
DAVID BURR GERRARD Journalists of late seem too eager to change the world in various ways; the point is to describe it,...
DAVID BURR GERRARD

Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you kno...
BILL MAHER

No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between fri...
BILL MURRAY President Obama is a utopian at heart. He wants to improve the lives of the downtrodden, which is a ...
BILL O'REILLY Since the time of St. Jerome, it was mandatory for any kind of scholar or thinker to spend time out ...
BILL VIOLA

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.
BILL WATTERSON

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that...
BILL WATTERSON

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
BILL WATTERSON

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves an...
BILL WATTERSON

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
BILL WATTERSON

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's differ...
BILL WATTERSON

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't wa...
BILL WATTERSON

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a...
BILL WATTERSON

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
BILL WATTERSON

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.
BILL WATTERSON

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.
BILL WATTERSON

Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell.
BILL COPELAND

Keep your word. Honor commitments, and they will double back to honor you.
BILL RANCIC

Historically, privacy was almost implicit, because it was hard to find and gather information. But i...
BILL GATES

The outside perception and inside perception of Microsoft are so different. The view of Microsoft in...
BILL GATES

According to Ethiopian custom, parents wait to name a baby because children often die in the first w...
BILL GATES

My son likes to go see mines and electric plants, or the Large Hadron Collider, and we've had a ...
BILL GATES

Like any well designed software product, Windows is designed, developed and tested as an integrated ...
BILL GATES

The quality of research in the U.S. is absolutely the best.
BILL GATES

The bulk of the universities are about teaching kids.
BILL GATES

People want to watch whatever video they want to watch whenever they want to watch. If you provision...
BILL GATES

In K-12, almost everybody goes to local schools. Universities are a bit different because kids actua...
BILL GATES

My wife thinks she's better than me at puzzles. I haven't given in on that one yet.
BILL GATES

In low-income countries, getting to a health post is hard. It's very expensive.
BILL GATES

I think there will be PCs at every price point.
BILL GATES

I don't have a magic formula for prioritizing the world's problems.
BILL GATES

The truth of Moore's law has made remarkable things possible. On the software side, I think natu...
BILL GATES

The only definition by which America's best days are behind it is on a purely relative basis.
BILL GATES

Digital reading will completely take over. It's lightweight and it's fantastic for sharing. ...
BILL GATES

At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the image is that they all come from the top - I&...
BILL GATES

I never took a day off in my twenties. Not one. And I'm still fanatical, but now I'm a littl...
BILL GATES

Polio's pretty special because once you get an eradication, you no longer have to spend money on...
BILL GATES

I remember thinking quite logically that I didn't want to spoil my children with wealth and so t...
BILL GATES

To create a new standard, it takes something that's not just a little bit different; it takes so...
BILL GATES

Money has no utility to me beyond a certain point.
BILL GATES

People everywhere love Windows.
BILL GATES

I'm never fully satisfied with any Microsoft product.
BILL GATES

The general idea of the rich helping the poor, I think, is important.
BILL GATES

If I'd had some set idea of a finish line, don't you think I would have crossed it years ago...
BILL GATES

Exposure from a young age to the realities of the world is a super-big thing.
BILL GATES

Connectivity enables transparency for better government, education, and health.
BILL GATES

I have been struck again and again by how important measurement is to improving the human condition.
BILL GATES

China adopted a capitalist system in the 1980s, and they went from a 60% poverty rate to 10%.
BILL GATES

The best teacher is very interactive.
BILL GATES

Technology is unlocking the innate compassion we have for our fellow human beings.
BILL GATES

The tablet is not mainstream. Reading off the screen is not mainstream.
BILL GATES

Whether it's Google or Apple or free software, we've got some fantastic competitors and it k...
BILL GATES

I'm a geek.
BILL GATES

I know there's a farmer out there somewhere who never wants a PC and that's fine with me.
BILL GATES

If you go back to 1800, everybody was poor. I mean everybody. The Industrial Revolution kicked in, a...
BILL GATES

Go empower yourself. You need confidence because the one thing that bullying does is it belittles yo...
BILL GOLDBERG

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.
BILL GATES

Paper is no longer a big part of my day. I get 90% of my news online, and when I go to a meeting and...
BILL GATES

Treatment without prevention is simply unsustainable.
BILL GATES

If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.
BILL GATES

Discrimination has a lot of layers that make it tough for minorities to get a leg up.
BILL GATES

We all need people who will give us feedback. That's how we improve.
BILL GATES

In the old generation, if one kid bought a PlayStation 2 and the other kid bought an Xbox, at his ho...
BILL GATES

The U.S. immigration laws are bad - really, really bad. I'd say treatment of immigrants is one o...
BILL GATES

This is a fantastic time to be entering the business world, because business is going to change more...
BILL GATES

The worst pandemic in modern history was the Spanish flu of 1918, which killed tens of millions of p...
BILL GATES

Expectations are a form of first-class truth: If people believe it, it's true.
BILL GATES

Nobody spends any money on smallpox unless they worry about a bio-terrorist recreating it.
BILL GATES

For a highly motivated learner, it's not like knowledge is secret and somehow the Internet made ...
BILL GATES

In business, the idea of measuring what you are doing, picking the measurements that count like cust...
BILL GATES

Nuclear energy, in terms of an overall safety record, is better than other energy.
BILL GATES

People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People f...
BILL GATES

By improving health, empowering women, population growth comes down.
BILL GATES

Innovation is moving at a scarily fast pace.
BILL GATES

Microsoft is not about greed. It's about innovation and fairness.
BILL GATES

I believe that if you show people the problems and you show them the solutions they will be moved to...
BILL GATES

Capitalism has worked very well. Anyone who wants to move to North Korea is welcome.
BILL GATES Today a minimum wage earner has to work a day and a half just to pay for a full tank of gas. That is...
BILL PASCRELL

I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or e...
BILL BRYSON Under many current state laws, minors who have been victims of trafficking are charged as criminals ...
BILL FLORES

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.
BILL COSBY

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON There's a lot of things I believe in this world. I believe in God, I believe in the United State...
BILL ENGVALL

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what&...
BILL COSBY

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them an...
BILL COSBY

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not ...
BILL COSBY

There are two sides to every story, and sometimes three, four, and five.
BILL COSBY

When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that.
BILL COSBY

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what ...
BILL COSBY

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
BILL COSBY

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituari...
BILL COSBY

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of yo...
BILL COSBY

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.
BILL COSBY

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: e...
BILL COSBY

Gray hair is God's graffiti.
BILL COSBY

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
BILL COSBY

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. I...
BILL COSBY

By the 1960s, many of us believed that the Civil Rights Movement could eliminate racism in America d...
BILL COSBY

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.
BILL COSBY

Anytime I get down to Miami, it's a wonderful thing.
BILL GOLDBERG I have realized over time that I missed the mark with HyperCard. I grew up in a box-centric culture ...
BILL ATKINSON

As a father, you want the best for your son, quite obviously. You want to create the best memories f...
BILL GOLDBERG

Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for ninety seconds at a time.
BILL MURRAY

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you'...
BILL HICKS

There are more people dying of malaria than any specific cancer.
BILL GATES

The man who rows the boat seldom has time to rock it.
BILL COPELAND

I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave th...
BILL COSBY

A buddy will keep you honest and add a dimension of fun to your workout.
BILL TOOMEY Someday, somehow, the leadership of Planned Parenthood will have to answer for their callous disrega...
BILL FLORES

One of my gripes about movies is that people take them so seriously, and the moneymaking aspects are...
BILL MURRAY Words are the children of reason and, therefore, can't explain it. They really can't transla...
BILL EVANS

I bugged my mom and dad to 'get me inside the television set' when I was about four years ol...
BILL MUMY I just became one with my browser software.
BILL GRIFFITH No matter how much you've won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no ma...
BILL PARCELLS

I don't think there's a... boundary between digital media and print media. Every magazine is...
BILL GATES

People in the West like to shoot things. When they first got to the West they shot buffalo. Once the...
BILL BRYSON

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence brief...
BILL MAHER William Andrews Clark was caught in a bribery scandal during a campaign for the U.S. Senate - he was...
BILL DEDMAN The International Brigades and the British volunteers were, numerically, only a small part of the Re...
BILL ALEXANDER The anger in the Brigade against those who fought the Republic in the rear was sharpened by reports ...
BILL ALEXANDER Being a broadcaster encompasses the business of sport, which is my life today, and it encompasses th...
BILL WALTON Chick Hearn was my favorite broadcaster ever - he's the one who taught me to think basketball, h...
BILL WALTON The great thing about being a broadcaster is you have this incredible responsibility to the people t...
BILL WALTON Good writing is clear thinking made visible.
BILL WHEELER

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
BILL WATTERSON

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.
BILL WATTERSON

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and tur...
BILL WATTERSON

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

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Bill Burr

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

Bill Burr

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