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I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.


Dylan Moran

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DANIEL RADCLIFFE I've been performing since 1955. I'm going to have to keep performing till I die because I&#...
DICK DALE I'm not a big, huge star, and so when people see me, it's usually to talk about something I&...
JASON BATEMAN My wonderful editor, Jackie Onassis, asked me to write a book that I wanted to write. I said, 'L...
JUDITH JAMISON When I look at 'Napoleon Dynamite's style I'm reminded of how I spoke when I was an eigh...
JASON REITMAN Well I'm still working on The Incredibles. So I'm going to take a little time off. I've ...
BRAD BIRD I'm like an old vampire, so it's important to talk to young people.
MANOLO BLAHNIK A lot of comedians get a bad rep once they have kids and that's all they talk about, and people ...
TIG NOTARO I have a simple rule: when I'm on TV, I'm not talking to just my anchor or my colleague on m...
DONNA BRAZILE I'm still a kid. I'm like six years old. But it's just a matter of wanting to get up, it...
HEATH LEDGER I'm 30. I'm not that young, right? I'm not, like, 24 or 22. I'm no longer in the pha...
JACK ANTONOFF I'm a fairly unaffected human being. I'm easy to talk to, I hope. I'm not too bothered a...
JAMES BLUNT If I don't talk about my religion, if I say I'm not discussing it or different humanitarian ...
TOM CRUISE It's easy for me to say that now, now I'm a father, I've got a four-and-a-half year old ...
ALAN VEGA Aye, well, I've got my garden.
LIKE I I told my Nike representative, 'Why didn't you guys use me for this?''' Williams said, laughing.
LIKE I On the interception, I was out of bounds,
LIKE I casually made his 'abort black fetuses' argument.
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LIKE I I knew I had to throw the ball better,'' Manning said of his poor start.
LIKE I I think the reason that I have that title or that moniker is because people don't know what to expec...
LIKE I You're either ready and prepared to take on the task, or you're not,'' he said.
LIKE I I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said.
LIKE I Married to the Mob.
LIKE I Hello you're with Drudge.
LIKE I I don't expect Christian Fundamentalists to reach out to me. They are adamant that homosexuals are i...
LIKE I throw enough shit at the wall and some should stick?
LIKE I I'm not happy, that's all I can say about it,'' he said.
LIKE I I think I've always had a 40-year-old body, and now that I'm actually there I'm like, &#...
FELICITY HUFFMAN I'm not going to talk about Picasso. I have done my duty to those memories. I have had a great c...
FRANCOISE GILOT I don't think I'm easy to talk about. I've got a very irregular head. And I'm not an...
SYD BARRETT I've been starting in new places year after year after year. It's just like when I went to G...
THALIA It's not like my old self - I'm not in character anymore, I'm me. I'm not hiding beh...
DAMON ALBARN If I talk to a girl, it's assumed that I'm having a scene with her. If I don't, then it&...
SHAH RUKH KHAN I've done nothing wrong. Some people just don't like me. Maybe I'm somebody that's e...
DANIEL CORMIER I consider myself something of a self-taught anthropologist. I try not to talk about something unles...
REGGIE WATTS When I'm acting, it's like I am the character - no one can talk to me. But I'm not so me...
TOM HOLLAND I've got too many of my friends that retired and went home and got on a rocking chair, and about...
RED ADAIR When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 ...
MEGAN FOX I'm not afraid of hard work. I like it! It's the other bit - the not working - I find more p...
PIXIE LOTT When I was in my early twenties, parts would be written for women in their fifties, and I would get ...
ANNE HATHAWAY I tell people I'm a stand-up comedian two hours a week. The rest of the time, I'm somebody&#...
STEVE HARVEY I'm a sinner just like everybody else and I have my faults and I've been through my dark tim...
JOSH TURNER When you've been brought up in variety, I think timing is always important in your life. If I...
BRUCE FORSYTH I like to talk to people. I've got one assistant, one Blackberry. That's my overhead. I don&...
MARK WAHLBERG I'm a creature of adaptation. I take advantage of the second and the moment. My comedy breathes;...
TOMMY DAVIDSON Every now and then, when I think about it, I think, 'What would I even talk about onstage?' ...
EDDIE MURPHY I'm not trying to be new school and I'm not old school - I'm classic. There's a lot ...
LL COOL J I've done TV and I've done film, and I'm not snobby about it. It's about the project...
KELLY MACDONALD I've learned that I work best when I'm entirely naked. The recording process was done that w...
EMILIE AUTUMN What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk lik...
LARRY THE CABLE GUY I'm a Southern girl. I like when they open the door and pull out a chair. I'm really into a ...
BROOKE BURNS It's funny, I listen to friends who talk about back when they were 14, eight, 16, whatever, as i...
CATHERINE MCCORMACK I've done a lot of things I'm not proud of, such as getting my girlfriend pregnant when I wa...
STEVE JOBS I don't think I would do a straight late-night talk show, like a 'Tonight Show' kind of ...
ERIC ANDRE I'm not a good small talker. I'm not into small talk, frankly.
MOHAMED ELBARADEI Who can I trust? You have to invest in somebody and chances are you're probably going to invest ...
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL When I'm not in front of the camera, I'm just like any other normal person. I'm a studen...
PARK BO-GUM I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ...
MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX Don't think for a moment that I'm really like any of the characters I've played. I'm...
LEONARDO DICAPRIO I'm very lucky in the sense that I've got a voice that's distinctive. Not good, but dist...
GARY NUMAN I'm not like most comedians. I don't deal with just heckles - I'm also dealing with thre...
HARI KONDABOLU I feel like I'm a boy, but I don't feel like I should've been born with different parts ...
RUBY ROSE They say I'm insane because I need to have so much creative control. They say I'm unmanageab...
IGGY AZALEA Well, a lot of people don't know this about me, but I'm actually shy around people I don'...
AVRIL LAVIGNE Yeah, I've done Jim Breuer's radio show a couple times, and I heard from Larry the Cable Guy...
BILLY GARDELL I'm over the word 'like' in conversation, and 'you know' seems to be the placeho...
KARIN SLAUGHTER People always say I'm a legend, but I'm not. Not until I've defended my Olympic titles. ...
USAIN BOLT I don't talk about how old I am because sometimes it can affect parts that you get in Hollywood....
GARRETT CLAYTON I've worked in a factory. I was a garbage man. I worked in a post office. It's not that long...
DENZEL WASHINGTON I'm not ashamed of anything that I've done because when I did it, I was passionate about it ...
YELAWOLF I wasn't trying to fit into a thing... it was not like I was like, 'Right, I'm the Han; ...
DAISY RIDLEY I want to let you in on a little secret: I don't always feel like I'm a success. That's ...
JOYCE MEYER When I was younger, I was somewhat of an idealist. I guess I'm a little bit more of a realist no...
CONOR OBERST Because I've done a lot of television, I'm sort of a generalist. I'm not a pastry cook, ...
JULIA CHILD Man, I'm 6 foot 8. I'm gonna be typecast. It's not like I'm gonna be the romantic le...
TYLER MANE I've said it once and I'll say it a a hundred times, I'm forty-four years old.
SATCHEL PAIGE I guess I'm the queen of the Web series. Yeah, right. I'm not at all. I'm on 'Leap Y...
JULIE WARNER I'm quite intuitive about what I pick. Often it's to do with what I've just done and how...
RACHEL GRIFFITHS I feel like I'm 18, with the maturity level of like a 14-year-old. I'm still the same goofba...
DUFF GOLDMAN The idea that I am cynical because I'm writing the books that I write is a bit like someone sayi...
BEN SCHOTT I'm not trying to get myself up a notch on the ladder by shoving somebody else down on the ladde...
GEORGE H. W. BUSH I'm so happy in the projects that I'm able to make, to be involved in projects like this. Th...
JENNIFER CONNELLY I don't think I've done any profound work yet... People ask me, 'How would you want to b...
BIPASHA BASU I use the word 'passion' a lot when I talk to young people. In every pursuit I've been o...
CHARLES SCHWAB When I talk to the camera, mate, it's not like I'm talking to the camera, I'm talking to...
STEVE IRWIN When I approach guys in certain situations and talk to them about Christ, they know that I'm spe...
LADAINIAN TOMLINSON I tell people I'm on a diet. If somebody sees me with a muffin, they'll think I'm off my...
STEPHEN FURST

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RACHEL MORAN The assumption of choice leads to the conclusion of consent, but choice and consent are erroneous co...
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MICHELLE MORAN The need for additional revenue is clear. How we achieve it is cloudy, to say the least.
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BRIAN MORAN Mike can carry 20-25 times a game and any time you can have a quality runner like that getting those...
BRIAN MORAN To the rest of the state, Northern Virginia is a single-cell amoeba. Those of us in Northern Virgini...
BRIAN MORAN We're very pleased with our candidates. Whether it was upsetting an incumbent or taking open seats, ...
BRIAN MORAN We expect to pick up seats.
BRIAN MORAN We plan to pound away at the fact that we are the party of fiscal responsibility and investment.
BRIAN MORAN On a night like tonight, anything can happen with the weather conditions the way they were. Craig is...
BRIAN MORAN The thing is, one in three women in the Western world will end up having an abortion, but they never...
CAITLIN MORAN Life would be very dreary if there were no magic. If the real world were only that veil of tears, I ...
VICTORIA MORAN What a beautiful woman. She moved with grace, she was entirely feminine, and yet, she possessed incr...
JAN MORAN What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded,...
CAITLIN MORAN When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing her...
CAITLIN MORAN In every (other) case, volcanoes have a monitor within five miles, but Crater Lake is a remote volca...
SETH MORAN All four of the public tower companies are bidding.
CLAYTON MORAN Monk's music is often defined as enigmatic, eccentric and humorous - as if it had little to do w...
JASON MORAN I can't live in a world where there are only, like, four kinds of women. Or where every woman is...
CAITLIN MORAN I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.
CAITLIN MORAN I hate that tabloid idea of anybody who is famous having to forfeit their privacy.
CAITLIN MORAN There's mediocre jazz, mediocre salesmen, mediocre golfers. If you want to be good, you have to ...
JASON MORAN Let's stop doing out-of-context, ad-hoc, survival budgets that take us nowhere except to the next cr...
CAROL MORAN I had a very exciting life in Italy, and I was doing lots of variety shows.
MORAN ATIAS I once went into a meeting, and every woman put her a million-pound bag on the table. Then I'm t...
CAITLIN MORAN I was a fat kid who didn't discover the joys of active play at the time of life when we're s...
VICTORIA MORAN As an improviser, my nature is to take a theme and constantly rework it.
JASON MORAN I want to express what's meaningful. I'm not into gimmicks. I want to make truthful music th...
JASON MORAN We do children an enormous disservice when we assume that they cannot appreciate anything beyond dri...
VICTORIA MORAN The great jazz radio stations have a duty to continue evolving their format just as audiences ask th...
JASON MORAN Jazz musicians don't make any money, so I might as well make some on the market. I pick my own s...
JASON MORAN The whole thing was conspired by Jim Hood.
MITCH MORAN It's a smart strategic move for XM because they need to answer the Howard Stern question. It's not a...
FREDERICK MORAN I know that as a vegan, I'm in a minority. People love their meat. It's up there with sugar ...
VICTORIA MORAN I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.
CAITLIN MORAN We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics c...
CAITLIN MORAN It shows there is still solid underlying demand for housing and that activity this year, while slowi...
MICHAEL MORAN