I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.

I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically.

'Sabotage' was a work for hire. It wasn't my original idea or script or anything.

The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live...

The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.

You have an idea of the way you think it is, and it's not that way at all, it's something else.