I would sooner read a time-table or a catalogue than nothing at all. They are much more entertaining than half the novels that are written.

I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation.

An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the bad ones.

Considering how foolishly people act and how pleasantly they prattle, perhaps it would be better for the world if they talked more and did less.

The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.