I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.
Jack Handy
Related
If the Fed could get the recovery the way we present it, it would take it -- it's not a bad outcome ...
FREDERICK BREIMYER I think he was a little surprised the puck came right out to him. He had to take a step back before ...
RAY EMERY I have these plants in my house that are dying, so having a robot butler to water them when I'm ...
CARY FUKUNAGA How he (Elian) would feel suddenly being put in the arms of a stranger; what would he think, how fri...
JANET RENO I asked him about it when we were together a couple of weeks ago. He's always been apprehensive, hav...
GEORGE MARTIN I hit such a great second shot here at 18 and then Dana hit that great bunker shot. You get to 17 an...
LOREN ROBERTS Don't knock what you don't know.
DEYON ANTEKO PITTER He was the only kid that could make a shot. I was begging the guys, 'Give Sean shots.' It was hard t...
MARK TURGEON Then Willie Nelson hits town and comes to see us at a double concert at Mother Earth... he sees all ...
BOB LIVINGSTON I asked him about it when we were together a couple of weeks ago. He's always been apprehensive, hav...
GEORGE MARTIN I thought that we came down and shot too quickly. We didn't make them work on defense at all. - What...
ALAN DUNAHEE We didn't think Danny was going to give it up that easy. It was just a straight line drive and we'd ...
STEPHEN JACKSON We weren't even in that position if it wasn't for him in the last five minutes. He has nothing to fe...
ANDY HOWARD He's labeled as a freshman, but we don't look at him as a freshman anymore. He's not afraid. The kid...
BRANDON ROY According to the people who dearly would love to throw him out of office, Barack Obama was elected t...
CHARLIE PIERCE That's the kind of shot we want him to take. He makes that shot all the time in practice, so why not...
DEMARCUS NELSON I wasn't expecting that shot I give him all the credit. He used the wind pretty good and there wa...
ALONSO JIMENEZ ...I wondered at times whether I would wake up and this would be just a bad dream, a nightmare that ...
RABIH ALAMEDDINE I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish he lived in the wardrobe on a coat hanger. Whenever I wanted, I cou...
JENNY DOWNHAM But on the question of whether the robots will eventually take over, he {MICHIO KAKU My No. 1 priority is to get Rick Santorum re-elected in 2006. I would vote for him to any Senate lea...
ARLEN SPECTER Now that I've met him? You know, you take away his skills and the way he plays, his tenacity and all...
ANNA KOURNIKOVA He shot well. We weren't playing all that bad of defense on him, either.
JAY FRYDENLUND I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t. And I definitely can’t un-feel a feeling.
JOLENE STOCKMAN I took him out there at the end because all I could see was another rolled ankle. We've had too many...
MIKE AUSTIN It was playing dangerous. I could still feel it even though I was playing really well and wasn't in ...
SERGIO GARCIA He's incredibly unselfish, probably too unselfish. My chore as a coach has been to get him to become...
JOHN MEYER If elected, I would not be the mere president of a party - I would endeavor to act independent of pa...
ZACHARY TAYLOR I wish we could clone him. He is such a wonderful supporter. I wish we could spread him to every art...
LYNN BARNETT To have him hit a running lob on match point, that's a good shot. It's disappointing and something y...
ANDY RODDICK She's proud of you. She said so herself. And she knows you deserved a chance to be happy. I know tha...
AIMEE CARTER He's swung the ball, taken wickets consistently, and been a popular member of the team. We wish him ...
GREG SHIPPERD We knew Chris (Carson) was going to take the shot. We wanted to keep him as far away as we could. He...
DON CATELLIER I'd take it again. I thought it was a good shot. I feel really bad. I feel like it's my fault we los...
BETTY LENNOX I think we were the only team that invited him to training camp. I feel bad that he feels that way. ...
BRIAN HILL I want Sam to stop liking Craig.
Now I guess maybe you think that’s because I am jealous of h...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY In America, politicians do whatever to get re-elected, and a lot of decisions that were being made a...
KEVIN COSTNER I wish I'd pulled harder to the bottom to block Jimmie, but we might have wrecked too. We missed the...
BRIAN VICKERS I wish she was dead,' he says. 'I wish they were all dead and we were, too. It would be best.
SUZANNE COLLINS When I was in Grade 9, there was an election for high school president, and one of the candidates to...
MARTIN O'MALLEY C'mon. He'd be embarrassing upstairs at the White House. So I think she'd have a hard ti...
CHRIS MATTHEWS We kissed each other until we were too tired to keep going. I could still feel him holding back. It ...
KIMBERLY NOVOSEL There's some teams he could play for and get every shot and score 30 points, but we have three guys ...
BOB MARINAK A guy like Adam, you want to get him the shutout and you feel bad for him when they score late on hi...
ROB SCHREMP I just don't think it's that big a deal. He said he went too far and I take him at his word. We don'...
BOB SCHIEFFER I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complime...
JACK HANDY I haven't heard anything like that since John Rocker , ... I think an apology is not going to be eno...
OMAR VIZQUEL I haven't heard anything like that since John Rocker. I think an apology is not going to be enough f...
OMAR VIZQUEL He found a realtor, looked at homes, bought one and furnished it, got a mortgage and the whole deal,...
GREGG POPOVICH I would submit a balanced budget if elected president, and it would be painful.
VIRGIL GOODE He asked me what in the world I was doing in the Marines and I told him I'd be out in a few years an...
JERRY BROOKINGS I watched how fast he skated and how hard he shot that puck. I wish I had an extra No. 7 in a red je...
WAYNE GRETZKY Support:
OK now that I have to constantly admit "I am not a robot" filling in forms to connect to yo...
MAURICE SPEES Did you bite someone?' Jack enquired.
'I laughed at people, which is much worse. My laughter ha...
ISOBELLE CARMODY I hope he inspired some of our students and reminded them that coming from a small town is not a neg...
RICKY BENNETT He's a good player, I give him that. At the same time . . . man, I'm not going to cause no controver...
DAMION MCINTOSH We weren't going to push him, but I looked at him and he was back in there. You've got to love him. ...
DON DUNN There was no way we could have existed in Division I football without a new facility. We had arguabl...
FRANK MALONEY The only successor to President Putin is President Putin himself and we could of course dream about ...
GARRY KASPAROV A WISH
Sometimes I wish
that he will live
and I will see him.
But m...
COCO J. GINGER We can all agree this was a tragedy that occurred, and we all wish we could take it back.
JOHN CASEY You saw the way everyone looked at him? And when I asked for nominations, his was the first name men...
MICHAEL GRANT With Tay, I was just trying to get a feel for him. He expressed himself candidly where he thought he...
FRAN MCCAFFERY I wish I could have done better for her. I just feel bad I let him out of my sight. But, I certainly...
ELIZABETH MORGAN He wasn't deceased. When we got him out, he had a shot. He died at the hospital.
LLOYD AYERS It came down to the last shot, and it's too bad we didn't have more time on the clock.
KYLE SINGLER We could have very well came to the airport with all our gear, and that would have been a disaster b...
KJELL RYE The last two years he's been snubbed. He came out last week and made a statement. The guy has been a...
ANQUAN BOLDIN That shows you if we could have had him at full tilt how much better we would have played. We weren'...
PERRY WATSON He was so close to having a bad game. He was mad at himself because he felt he wasn't helping his te...
BRIAN VOYLES I frequently feel when I listen to him and to many other elected officials that they are speaking to...
DEVAL PATRICK I'm going to be really critical of myself when I watch tape to see how in the Lord's name did we not...
BRAD SODERBERG He has become a symbol of our inability to solve the problems in the Balkans. We would like to get r...
IVO DAALDER There was a president who was much less healthy than the public image of him conveyed. If [the publi...
ROBERT DALLEK Well, he robbed his way from Utah to Oklahoma
And the law just could not seem to track him down<...
BILLY JOEL I could have shot the ball, but when I saw he had a better shot, I just gave it up to him. I always ...
AL HORFORD I wish i could tell you what i feel for you... nothing seems right not even you... i wish i could as...
SHIVANGI LAVANIYA I absolutely love you, Briony, and I am on my knees. So we're getting married - right? But say it fa...
CHRISTINE FEEHAN I really wish the system could work at the pace that all of us would like it to work. It just doesn'...
JUDGE NANCY SAITTA I can barely get a guy in my own town to realize I'm alive. Well that’s not true, he knows I’m a...
BRYNNA GABRIELSON We can make sure to get him game ready hitting-wise. He went through minimal rehab when he came back...
KEN MACHA I understand the community isn't satisfied at all that it's here. There were a lot of strong words a...
MAURICE ANDERSON I got on him pretty hard to get the ball where he needed to get it and he really came through. He wa...
JASON KERR I would agree that President Carter didn't live up to the expectation we all had when he came in...
MICHELE BACHMANN When I was elected President nobody asked me to negotiate between Israel and Egypt. It was not even ...
JIMMY CARTER Any time a president is re-elected, he has a little more political clout to get things done.
EVAN BAYH We could take a big hit with wages, work rules and not get any pension at all.
BOBBY PACE My father left when I was really young, but he's still living. There are things I wish I'd s...
SARAH SHAHI My core is grime. But I make all kinds of music. Take Picasso. He could paint whatever way he liked....
STORMZY I wish Italy would stop being a crybaby. I wish he would kick his bad habit of wanting to eat pasta ...
HIDEKAZ HIMARUYA I told Josh if he had a shot, take it. We were down by a lot. He had some looks. I told him 'don't w...
BILLY MITCHELL I wish I had my beta-blockers handy.
[Comment when told that he had won a Nobel prize,...
JAMES WHYTE BLACK The president is worried about whether or not the Senate will take action to help get the economy ou...
ARI FLEISCHER When you get to overtime, there are no bad shots. We were hoping to get the first shot and see what ...
GREG SMITH Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", be...
JACK HANDY We thought he could pull it off and he would get it, and not cheese it up too much,
TREY PARKER Should one of them after having caught the greatness of Abraham's deed, but also the appallingness o...
JOHANNES DE SILENTIO The President has a quick and able mind, though not everybody gives him that, not by a long shot.
HERMAN WOUK I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cookin...
JAROD KINTZ I said to the scouts I was standing with that Ryan would play at the highest level. He was like a ba...
ERIC HARRISON
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JACK HANDY If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he ...
JACK HANDY If you go to a party, and you want to be the popular one at the party, do this: Wait until no one is...
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JACK HANDY I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have...
JACK HANDY Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe y...
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JACK HANDY When the chairman introduced the guest speaker as a former illegal alien, I got up from my chair and...
JACK HANDY There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves...
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JACK HANDY If there was a terrible storm outside, but somehow this dog lived through the storm, and he showed u...
JACK HANDY If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins most? I'd say...
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JACK HANDY If you get invited to your first orgy, don't just show up nude. That's a common mistake. You have to...
JACK HANDY Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a b...
JACK HANDY Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
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JACK HANDY I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
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JACK HANDY If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hosta...
JACK HANDY I think college administrators should encourage students to urinate on walls and bushes, because the...
JACK HANDY Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
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JACK HANDY I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money."
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JACK HANDY If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REA...
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JACK HANDY If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that's what H...
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CHARLES HANDY Fair Park has been totally dominating teams from the second period on all year.
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LOUIS HANDY They were, as I anticipated, a good ball club. They executed all the particulars, the little small t...
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KAMERON HANDY At the half, we thought we were going to come out and close it out like we usually do.
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WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY I think America concedes that true American music has sprung from the Negro.
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY You've got to appreciate the things that come from the art of the Negro and from the heart of th...
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY Nature was my kindergarten.
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY The blues - the sound of a sinner on revival day.
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are– bald or old or...
CHARLES B. HANDY Life is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in, you won't get anything out.
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY Life is like a trumpet - if you don't put anything into it, you don't get anything out of it...
WILLIAM CHRISTOPHER HANDY Many artists and writers have used cannabis for creative stimulation - from the writers of the world...
JACK HERER I hope people think of me as a bit older. I do have a beard. That makes me look very old.
JACK WHITEHALL With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.
JACK NICHOLSON The financial crisis is a stark reminder that transparency and disclosure are essential in today'...
JACK REED The only two things you can truly depend upon are gravity and greed.
JACK PALANCE Perfectionists are their own devils.
JACK KIRBY Control your own destiny or someone else will.
JACK WELCH I believe that people make their own luck by great preparation and good strategy.
JACK CANFIELD If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings and put compensatio...
JACK WELCH Mankind is like dogs, not gods - as long as you don't get mad they'll bite you - but stay ma...
JACK KEROUAC If I have a weakness, it's probably ice cream. That's where I get lax, sloppy. I'll snea...
JACK NICKLAUS It was only after the Grimms published two editions primarily for adults that they changed their att...
JACK ZIPES Though the Grimms kept about 100 of the tales from the first edition, they changed them a good deal.
JACK ZIPES In 1995, I founded a storytelling program for children called Neighborhood Bridges in collaboration ...
JACK ZIPES I have a daughter, Hanna, and I never read fairy tales to her. But I did tell her bedtime tales and ...
JACK ZIPES 'Once Upon a Time', 'Mirror Mirror' - those shows and films focus on women and their...
JACK ZIPES Fairy tales are with us day in and day out, not just in commercials, but references in the theater, ...
JACK ZIPES The Grimm collections were never intended for children. Not because kids were excluded, but because ...
JACK ZIPES Almost every single commercial on television for shampoo, sports shoes, drinks, food, clothes, perfu...
JACK ZIPES What the Greeks and Romans considered myths, we consider fairy tales. We can see how very clearly th...
JACK ZIPES Until I was diagnosed with mouth cancer, I'd never heard of it.
JACK WILD I guess I'll go to my grave as the Dodger, but at least I've made my mark on show-business h...
JACK WILD I'm thought of as a celebrity. Everything I've ever done... has been for children. As long a...
JACK WILD I look at what I've gone through in my career and I really shouldn't be talking to you now. ...
JACK WILD I'd definitely be up for 'EastEnders.' Just the same as I would if 'Coronation Stree...
JACK WILD It's very hard not to let fame affect you because you are continually being told how good you ar...
JACK WILD There is no buzz like performing for a live audience.
JACK WILD At an age when most youngsters are preparing for their GCSEs, I was suddenly a jet-setter, briefly t...
JACK WILD My lifestyle had made me a walking time bomb.
JACK WILD I know who Jack Whittaker is. And some days I don't like who I am.
JACK WHITTAKER It doesn't bother me because I can tell everyone to kiss off.
JACK WHITTAKER