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I was kidding. Even I'm not that promiscuous. You guru people have no sense of humor.”

“I'm not a guru people, and I happen to have a very well developed sense of humor. Why else would I still be talking to you?


Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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But you really need to listen to me
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GERARD WAY How could you not? I do have a sense of humor.
HEIDI PRESCOTT Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no...
J.D. SALINGER To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matt...
THOMAS LIGOTTI When people are in the midst of really heavy stuff and still have a sense of humor, I admire that.
TED DANSON I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor.
EDWARD ALBEE This is sams phone" there was a long,heavy pause, and then: "oh." Another pause. "Youre the girl, ar...
MAGGIE STIEFVATER I was certainly not a class clown; I confused and angered a lot of people with my sense of humor.
KATHERINE RYAN I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as lon...
TARAN KILLAM I wore goofy hats to school and did musical theater. Most people thought I was a dork. But if you ha...
ZAC EFRON that I am equipped with what other people have called a fiendish sense of humor.
ALFRED HITCHCOCK I have no sense of humor about losing
RAFAEL NADAL If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
MAHATMA GANDHI I'm not 17 anymore. I still have some of the same sort of anger, but I have a sense of humor abo...
DAVE PIRNER I don't have a very quick sense of humor.
FLORENZ ZIEGFELD If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you ca...
ALAN THICKE Im still runnin against the wind
Well Im older now and still
Against the wind
BOB SEGER so what brings you to the doctor today?"
"hmm, im afraid i have the chronic desire to save peop...
DEB CALETTI I'd love to, she finally said,"on one condition."
I steadied myself, hoping it wasn't something...
NICHOLAS SPARKS I have never said that there is no need for a guru. All depends on what you call guru. He need not b...
RAMANA MAHARSHI 'Not drinking?' Collin asked coolly.

'I only drink the blood of virgins,' Logan quipped...
LIA BLACK A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your step as you walk the tightrope...
WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrop...
WILLIAM ARTHUR WARD You have to have a sense of humor to do this,
FRANK BROWN People who know me know I have a sense of humor that can really push the envelope.
CARMEN ELECTRA I'll be sure not to let anyone but you carry me in her arms." He turns and leaves the kitchen before...
SUSAN EE I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor an...
MICHAEL BUBLE It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.
MAX EASTMAN Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their “angry pants.
CATHY BURNHAM MARTIN have i gone mad?
im afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usualy are.
LEWIS CARROLL I had made her so unhappy that she had developed a sense of humor. [-Rabo Karabekian]
KURT VONNEGUT JR. I was not a pretty child. I developed humor to be accepted.
JOAN RIVERS i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL I forgot," Isabelle muttered as the rest of them caught up to her. "Faeries have no sense of humor."...
CASSANDRA CLARE I often have said that to be a college president, you need a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and ...
GORDON GEE To understand what Bloom means, consider this dialogue (based loosely on a real-life exchange) betwe...
FRANCIS J. BECKWITH You have to have a sense of humor about life to get through it.
KESHA I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler p...
VERA FARMIGA Confidence is at the root of so many attractive qualities, a sense of humor, a sense of style, a wil...
WENTWORTH MILLER One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART If I ever have sex with someone I might be able to develop a sense of humor.
KATE BECKINSALE Curse of God, Guru can remove.
Curse of Guru, even God cannot.
SW. CHIDANANDA TIRTHA CALVIN:
Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor?

When you thi...
BILL WATTERSON There," Zoë suggested."By the Embarcadero Building."
"Good thinking," Chuck said. "Me and Han...
RICK RIORDAN why can't you see i'm a kid', said the kid.
Why try to make me like you?
Why are you hurt ...
SHEL SILVERSTEIN Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny ...
WAVY GRAVY One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.
LARRY GELBART Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to te...
CAROL BURNETT Don't wish me happiness
I don't expect to be happy all the time...
It's gotton beyond that...
ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married."

"I...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS I have no heart?--Perhaps I have not;
But then you're mad to take offence
That I don't giv...
CHRISTINA ROSSETTI To be a philosopher, just reverse everything you have ever been told...and have a sense of humor doi...
CRISS JAMI When Humor Falls Flat

“Humor is not a "one-size fits all" guarantee. What is hilarious ...
SUSAN C. YOUNG He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor.
J.D. SALINGER You've got to have a sense of humor to keep your sanity.
LANCE BASS Boys are rewarded for playing games where they line up by height and then run into walls. Perhaps I'...
GINA BARRECA I have a sense of humor, and sometimes it gets me into trouble.
DUNCAN JONES MAMA: You must not dislike people ’cause they well off, honey.

BENEATHA: Why not? It ma...
LORRAINE HANSBERRY She gave me a hard look. "No one likes a wiseass, Harry."
"Are you kidding? As long as the wise...
JIM BUTCHER Proctor: I am only wondering how I may prove what she told me, Elizabeth. If the girl's a saint now,...
ARTHUR MILLER Don't run away.
Im not running away. Im already gone.
-Lena and Ethan
KAMI GARCIA You have to have a sense of humor about all of it - the Emmys and politics and everything.
BILLY EICHNER Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t...
DEREK LANDY I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very good mo...
LOU HOLTZ I used to be neurotic. I didn't like myself very much. But somewhere in my mid-40s, my neuroses ...
JOANNE WOODWARD When you have 10 people living together in the same house, that, in and of itself, takes a real good...
GINGER MULLINS I'm going to miss her humor and her insight. She had a very dry sense of humor. She would sit there ...
KAREN CARLSON Therefore I say, 'Even though my guru frequents a grog-shop, still to me he is the embodiment of Ete...
RAMAKRISHNA I cannot put into words how happy I was to have had the opportunity to be around him as much as I wa...
OSSIE DAVIS Life has three rules: Paradox, Humor, and Change.

- Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't was...
DAN MILLMAN I like guys who have a plan or a dream. A good sense of humor is also a must. I can be weird with my...
EDY GANEM I like Thomas Jefferson, though he intimidated me. I thought he would have been very tough to be aro...
MAIRA KALMAN People who know me, they know I have a sense of humor, I'm a bit of a joker, a bit of a clown re...
GARY OLDMAN Why didn't you become a sorcerer, Geralt? Weren't you ever attracted by the Art? Be honest.'
'I...
ANDRZEJ SAPKOWSKI You have to have a sense of humor about yourself and laugh at yourself in the company of those you l...
DALE SANDERS A sense of humor is the best indicator that you will recover; it is often the best indicator that pe...
ANDREW SOLOMON Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I su...
RON DENTINGER No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opin...
KATIE NOLAN You have to have a sense of humor about it. At the same time, how do we improve our evaluation proce...
ROGER SPACKMAN I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor.
WILLIAM GILMORE SIMMS I think it would be hard to go the distance in this business without a sense of humor.
PATRICIA CLARKSON The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren't in a very goo...
LOU HOLTZ And I would be the first to admit that probably, in a lot of press conferences over the time that I ...
BOBBY KNIGHT Like you and me," said Jade. "How we used to be."

"What do you mean? Crazy?"

"...
SCOTT SPENCER I won't bring anybody into the field who doesn't have a sense of humor.
DR. JANINE CAIRA I don't think that I could have survived in my family without a naughty sense of humor; yeah, ab...
RACHAEL MACFARLANE Always have a sense of humor about life - you'll need it - but always be courteous to boot.
PETER JENNINGS Be fun! I don't like homes or rooms that don't have a sense of humor or have some sense of w...
BRYAN BATT Galeni made her smile but not laugh. The lack of any sense of play between them worried Miles; you h...
LOIS MCMASTER BUJOLD Sure, I am funny and have a good sense of humor. Mostly, though, I just tell the truth. The internal...
KARA SWISHER I'm not an expert on the Malaysian sense of humor.
BEN STILLER Do feminists have a sense of humor? Yes.
GLORIA ALLRED I think I've learned that if you want to be successful, you have to tell your story honestly and...
DOROTHEA BENTON FRANK The British really treasure their sense of humor and they have cultivated a sense of irony that, I t...
ALEX BOESE My legacy would be that you don't have to give up anything. You can be chic but have a sense of ...
MICHAEL KORS He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.
BILL BRYSON Even when something sad or tragic happens, I find a way to look at it in a positive light. People wh...
ZACH ANNER If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.
JENNIFER JONES

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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS The point I was trying to make before you interrupted with your inventory
of my personality is ...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS In case you still haven't figured it out, he loves you. Your tiger will be back in the morning, and ...
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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS Well alright then," His eyes glittered. "I get my kicks whipping woman I have sex with and you're ne...
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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS I don't love you anymore", she whispered. "I don't love you at all." His throat closed. "It's all ri...
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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS Make-up? What happened? You look almost female."
"Thanks. You look almost straight.
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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS What New York City football team did Joe Namath play for?"
"The New York City Yankees!"
A ...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS [Colin to Sugar Beth] I put my heart on every page.
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<...
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"You spoke a bit t...
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SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS ...I have to tell you that I'm not all that comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of my lif...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS Le regard mauvais , Calebow quitta un instant le chien des yeux pour s'adresser à elle.
- Si e...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS It's perverse. It's totally perverse.
SUSAN PHILLIPS He was just wound as tight as a clock. He was under tremendous pressure, but obviously handling it, ...
SUSAN PHILLIPS In a place like Akron, this would be a very special event.
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ELIZABETH PHILLIPS I use it a lot when I go to Mexico with my mom, so it's very useful. Basically, that should come in ...
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ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker.
ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes.
ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment.
ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.'
ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha...
ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu...
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ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au...
ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about.
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ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media.
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ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken.
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ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha...
ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ...
ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don...
ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra...
ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one.
ZARA PHILLIPS I tell people that I'm a Christian, but I don't think it's giving an insight into who I ...
SALLY PHILLIPS My blood runs cold when I hear the 'great news' that we have found a marker for the Down'...
SALLY PHILLIPS I wasn't hugely popular at school. In fact, I was bullied at school.
SALLY PHILLIPS All I want to do really is get married and be a matriarch.
SALLY PHILLIPS I'm not sure my achievements have been 'great.'
SALLY PHILLIPS The children break all my jewelry, so everything I wear is cheap - from Topshop or Dorothy Perkins.
SALLY PHILLIPS My mother always worked and thought staying at home was a bit twee, and that you should get your act...
SALLY PHILLIPS I once had a friend who did the hair for sci-fi movies, and after a particularly bad break-up I stup...
SALLY PHILLIPS The only way I'll ever run a marathon is if I'm involved in the administration.
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SALLY PHILLIPS People have really strong images of what church is, and it's almost certainly not the same as mi...
SALLY PHILLIPS I've got a great relationship with my dad, but I can imagine how annoying it would be if I had t...
SALLY PHILLIPS Middle-aged women on telly is a bit of a hot topic - before, we were 27 to 37, and now we're 40 ...
SALLY PHILLIPS My first film crush was Mark Lester as Oliver Twist in the Carol Reed film.
SALLY PHILLIPS When I'm a brunette, it's four times harder to hail a taxi. Then I go blonde again, and sudd...
SALLY PHILLIPS What having a Down's syndrome child isn't - and I feel very strongly about this - is a trage...
SALLY PHILLIPS Once you have a Down's syndrome child, you can't conform. In a way, you're free.
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SALLY PHILLIPS Getting a new passport took me a stupid amount of time. I had to go back five times with different p...
SALLY PHILLIPS I think everyone is forgetting what plastic surgery is for - if you have a face-eating tumour, lose ...
SALLY PHILLIPS I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my...
SALLY PHILLIPS I don't have the self-discipline for diets; I break rules I set for myself, so I try and eat mor...
SALLY PHILLIPS I always carry a pair of scissors around with me to cut things out of magazines.
SALLY PHILLIPS What is fanaticism today is the fashionable creed tomorrow, and trite as the multiplication table a ...
WENDELL PHILLIPS Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.
WENDELL PHILLIPS Seldom ever was any knowledge given to keep, but to impart; the grace of this rich jewel is lost in ...
WENDELL PHILLIPS The best education in the world is that got by struggling to get a living.
WENDELL PHILLIPS Exigencies create the necessary ability to meet and conquer them.
WENDELL PHILLIPS What the Puritans gave the world was not thought, but action.
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WENDELL PHILLIPS The labor movement means just this: it is the last noble protest of the American people against the ...
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WENDELL PHILLIPS If there is anything in the universe that can't stand discussion, let it crack.
WENDELL PHILLIPS What gunpowder did for war the printing press has done for the mind.
WENDELL PHILLIPS I've got spider veins all over my legs, so I wear opaque tights all winter. All sorts of colours...
SALLY PHILLIPS By the time I turned 18, I moved into a little chalet of my own and felt very grown-up.
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS My mother went to a school called 'The Club of the Three Wise Monkeys'. And my grandmother, ...
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS I am so saddened by the loss of our dear friend, Bonnie Franklin. She was just full of light and lov...
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS There's a fine line between genius and insanity, as we all know.
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS I've always turned my anger inwards towards self-destruction.
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS I became fascinated with the concept of speak no, see no, hear no evil. And - and the actual depicti...
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS Forgiveness is not to give the other person peace. Forgiveness is for you. Take that opportunity.
MACKENZIE PHILLIPS A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
PAULINE PHILLIPS They who grasp the world, The Kingdom, and the power, and the glory, Must pay with deepest misery of...
STEPHEN PHILLIPS Eternal vigilance is the price of libertypower is ever stealing from the many to the few. The hand e...
WENDELL PHILLIPS I have to hand it to Manchester, they played a super second half. I told the kids it's not the end o...
AL PHILLIPS Are we the No. 1 team by default because Manchester lost, or are we the No. 1 team because we really...
AL PHILLIPS This is new territory for us. I always wondered what it would be like to be here and now we're here....
AL PHILLIPS That's probably the best game I've coached in 20 years in terms of performance, the way the kids cam...
AL PHILLIPS Look at kids playing with blocks. I think it's in everyone's DNA to want to be a builder.
DAN PHILLIPS I think it's just neat for the kids, to finish that climb to the top. I'm really glad to be able to ...
AL PHILLIPS I just told the kids about having great faith, no matter what we have. ... They did what they were s...
AL PHILLIPS It was just a matter of improvising after that.
AL PHILLIPS People are going out in the boats. They just aren't going as far.
ALAN PHILLIPS I knew nothing about this. I just got a flyer that got stuck in my mailbox.
ALAN PHILLIPS We will do anything we can to help the Scots because that is the relationship we have with them.
ALAN PHILLIPS The emphasis was to get across to Gavin things they didn't like,
ALAN PHILLIPS We need a bit of extra cover at six, and Dafydd is a good man to have around.
ALAN PHILLIPS I spoke to him yesterday (Sunday), and it is safest to presume he is not available. It wouldn't be f...
ALAN PHILLIPS There is no timing on it, but I don't envisage seeing Martyn much this week,
ALAN PHILLIPS His shoulder was looked at and he was given the all clear.
ALAN PHILLIPS It is bad news. But we just have to get on and deal with it.
ALAN PHILLIPS The final round was played on a difficult day, the conditions were extremely difficult with the pin ...
ALAN PHILLIPS If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
PAULINE PHILLIPS Money will come to you when you are doing the right thing.
MICHAEL PHILLIPS Power is every stealing from the many to the few.
WENDELL PHILLIPS I never had a ton of male friends and it's always been something that's really interesting t...
TODD PHILLIPS The plan is when I go to college I plan on taking four years off. School is definitely my priority n...
ADDISON PHILLIPS I definitely want to do this for the rest of my life, whether I do it professionally or just for fun...
ADDISON PHILLIPS It's definitely been a great learning experience. This is about as hard as some of the courses are g...
ADDISON PHILLIPS It's been fun. When I do well it's so rewarding because I'm in here with all the professionals and I...
ADDISON PHILLIPS Freud changes our reading habits.
ADAM PHILLIPS The fight to end Global Poverty goes beyond today, goes beyond this week. The Millennium Development...
ADAM PHILLIPS It's really obvious how strong the U.S. voice is in the United Nations. What the U.S. says and does ...
ADAM PHILLIPS United Nations is an organization of global neighbors. I really wanted to be here to raise our voice...
ADAM PHILLIPS One on God's side is a majority.
WENDELL PHILLIPS Write on my gravestone: "Infidel, Traitor."--infidel to every church that compromises with wrong; tr...
WENDELL PHILLIPS Debt is the fatal disease of republics, the first thing and the mightiest to undermine governments a...
WENDELL PHILLIPS